Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: Poverty

My collection of stereotypes comes from books, magazines, newspapers, movies, television shows, radio programs, news shows, conversations, etc. Sources can be 10s to 100s to 1000s of years old.

Stereotypes and categories overlap at times. I create categories of stereotypes as I have stereotype examples to put into those categories.

The research into gossip goes back at least to the middle of the 20th century. Both men and women research gossip. Putting all of their research together, this is my definition:

Gossip is talk and writing about people
— both other people and ourselves —
in family, social, workplace, and public settings.

Much of the research shows that gossip is both positive and negative. I define gossip as good, bad, or ugly. Good gossip ignores or breaks stereotypes. Bad gossip uses stereotypes. Ugly gossip manufactures stereotypes.

Negative stereotypes exist about everyone, no matter their age, gender, race, religion, profession, etc. These stereotype blog posts will help you understand the negative stereotypes about you.

If you use negative stereotypes about people who are different from you, you are inviting everyone who hears you to use negative stereotypes about you.

Stereotype Updates

I add stereotypes as I come across them.

I will add the new stereotypes at the bottom of each listing, putting ~~~~~ between the older stereotypes and the new stereotypes.

More Stereotypes

Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: People In General

Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: Ethnic, National, & Racial Identities

Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: Workplaces

Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: Romance

~~~~~~~~~~

Tired of losing out to stereotypes?
Learn strategies for taking positive control
in the small spaces of situations and relationships.
People who take positive control position themselves to attract unimagined success.

softskillstrategycourses.com

~~~~~~~~~~

People Living At Working Class, Low Income & Poverty Levels

thieving
lazy
dependent
passive
uneducated
undeserving
deviant for not being middle class
don’t work hard enough
don’t work at all
can’t improve themselves
feel bad about themselves
don’t make friends well
unable to defer gratification
no respect for education
no interest in education
dishonest
promiscuous
apathetic or ignorant about birth control
ethnic minority
lack thrift
loose morals
no personal drive
no willingness to take risks
no initiative
unwilling to work hard
fail to seize opportunities
deserve:

to live near garbage dumps and toxic waste, near noxious industries
poorer school systems
inferior medical care
more frequent arrests
harsher prison sentences
more severe social control

People Living In Slums

criminals
drug addicts
delinquents

People living in Brazilian favelas

desperate
crushed

Mothers Receiving Welfare

lazy
freeloader
wild
lack confidence
abuse the system
practice fraud
get something for nothing
sit at home
lack work ethics
keep having babies for free
unskilled laborers
live high on the hog
on drugs
fat
sits in front of television all day eating potato chips
adopted children so they can get welfare
deserve:

contraceptive testing
involuntary sterilization
coercive treatment during pregnancy
prosecution for drug use

Fathers Of Low Income Children

deadbeat dads

Low Income People Are Poor In

friendships
verbal skills
education
social manners
resources
health
happiness

Low Income Parents

lack educational values

~~~~~

can’t do well at educating their own children

Low Income Children

lack motivation
do not value education
would not benefit from:

the same education offered by schools in wealthier areas

Low Income Men

buffoon
threat

Low Income Women

slobs
plain
unattractive
neglect their children
sexually loose
accustomed to roughness
less prone to the terror of rape
can be raped only through gang rape

Points to Ponder

Did you notice that people living in poverty might not be able to improve themselves because other people think they deserve poorer school systems?

Did you notice the opposite stereotypes that people living in poverty can’t improve themselves but can take advantage of the health care system?

Did you notice that people living in poverty can supposedly take advantage of the health care system, but are in poor health?

Did you notice that people living in poverty might need to take advantage of the health care system because other people think they deserve inferior medical care?

How do people in poverty live high on the hog when other people think they deserve to live in poor neighborhoods near garbage dumps, toxic waste, and noxious industries?

Personal Note

I wrote letters to the editor about poverty issues for several years. I was low income because medical professionals misdiagnosed a childhood spinal injury for 33 years. Eventually, normal sitting and standing became extremely painful. How would you earn money if you couldn’t sit or stand normally?

Early in my letter writing years, a friend was in a baby sitting coop. My friend attended a meeting shortly after the newspaper had published one of my letters about poverty. One of the other women in the coop asked if anyone knew Paula Kramer. My friend said she did. The other woman asked:

“Is Paula fat and does she sit in front of TV set all day eating potato chips?”

My friend told me she set the woman straight.

My husband was part Native American and our daughter has his darker skin coloring. A neighbor asked me,

“Did you adopt your daughter so you could get welfare?”

Why would any adoption agency allow someone living at poverty level to adopt a child?

~~~~~

Critical Thinking Questions

1.  What’s happening?

2.  Why is it important?

3.  What don’t I see?

4.  How do I know?

5.  Who is saying it?

6.  What else? What if?

Stereotype Thinking Questions

1.  What is threatening my beliefs?

2.  How can I make it unimportant?

3.  What can I reject?

4.  What can I laugh at?

5.  How can I attack people who threaten my beliefs?

6.  How can I deflect?

The stereotype thinking questions are mine, based on my observations of stereotype thinkers.

~~~~~

Paula M. Kramer
© 2015 to the present
All rights reserved.

Posts on this blog alternate with posts at the link below. Posts for both blogs are published on Wednesdays as they are ready to be published. Time between posts could be weeks or months.

blog.smilessparksuccess.com

Resource Websites

speakingfromtriumph.com

smilessparksuccess.com

Business Directory

betterplanetbusiness.com

Positive Identity Directory For People With Mugshots

myrecordnow.com

 

Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: Romance

My collection of stereotypes comes from books, magazines, newspapers, movies, television shows, radio programs, news shows, conversations, etc. Sources can be 10s to 100s to 1000s of years old.

Stereotypes and categories overlap at times. I create categories of stereotypes as I have stereotype examples to put into those categories.

The research into gossip goes back at least to the middle of the 20th century. Both men and women research gossip. Putting all of their research together, this is my definition:

Gossip is talk and writing about people
— both other people and ourselves —
in family, social, workplace, and public settings.

Much of the research shows that gossip is both positive and negative. I define gossip as good, bad, or ugly. Good gossip ignores or breaks stereotypes. Bad gossip uses stereotypes. Ugly gossip manufactures stereotypes.

Negative stereotypes exist about everyone, no matter their age, gender, race, religion, profession, etc. These stereotype blog posts will help you understand the negative stereotypes about you.

If you use negative stereotypes about people who are different from you, you are inviting everyone who hears you to use negative stereotypes about you.

Stereotype Updates

I add stereotypes as I come across them.

I will add the new stereotypes at the bottom of each listing, putting ~~~~~ between the older stereotypes and the new stereotypes.

More Stereotypes

Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: People In General

Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: Ethnic, National, & Racial Identities

Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: Workplaces

Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: Poverty

~~~~~~~~~~

Tired of losing out to stereotypes?
Learn strategies for taking positive control
in the small spaces of situations and relationships.
People who take positive control position themselves to attract unimagined success.

softskillstrategycourses.com

~~~~~~~~~~

Romantic Relationships In General

Relationships Between Men & Women

war

The Most Successful Relationship Is Between

a man with a high level career and a woman with a low level career

Romantic Relationships Are Likely To End If

the woman has a high status career and stays in her career

Older Women With Younger Men

trying to hang onto youth

Younger Women With Older Men

golddiggers

If A Woman Fails While Her Partner Succeeds It Means…

the man had the ability to succeed
the woman didn’t have the ability to succeed

If A Woman Succeeds While Her Partner Fails It Means The Woman…

caused her partner’’s failure
could destroy the relationship

Women In Romantic Relationships

should give up jobs when children are born
should not accept a job offer that could jeopardize partner’s career

Abusive Relationships

Violence Happens Only In

heterosexual relationships
men do all the abusing

Women Battered By Men

masochists
castrators
flirts
blameless

Men Battered By Women

liars
freaks

Men Who Batter Women

hotheaded
drunk brutes

Woman Who Batter Men

drunk
unstable
shrewish

Individual Characteristics

Obese People

less attractive
lower self-esteem
less likely to be dating
less erotic
deserve fat, ugly partners

Men

Single Men

unhappy
interested in whether a prospective date has not girlfriends
looks at his watch because he’s bored
love women who dress like sluts
easy horn dogs
like skinny girls
like younger women
like big breasts, real or fake
like open relationships
commitment-phobes
don’t like aggressive women
always want to be dominant
want dumb women

Men Over 70

projects

Men Who Dress Revealingly

less liked
not sexy

Muscular Men

domineering
controlling
mean
abusive in relationships with overweight or underweight people

Messy Magician, Life Coach, “Crypto Guy” on The Bachelorette

shallow dates

Women

Older, Never Married Women
mentally ill

Single Women

unhappy
selfish
insecure
lonely
dysfunctional
desperate to find a mate
clueless about finances and investing
let their appearance go as they age
sex-starved
less healthy than married women

Women Who Dress Revealingly

seen by men as seductive
seen by women as not nice

Women Who Go To A Bar, Have A Nightcap In An Apartment, Dress Up

interested in sex

Women Who Drink Alcohol

sexually available
more aggressive
have few social skills

Opposite Stereotypes

Opposite Stereotypes #1

Women Battered By Men

masochists ≠ castrators

Points To Ponder

These stereotypes make abusive men inherently bad, ignoring “substance abuse, mental illness, childhood trauma, race, culture, and poverty.”

The stereotypes ignore the women who abuse men in romantic relationships. My mother was one of those abusers. She emotionally abused my father.

“Help for Men Who are Being Abused”
Lawrence Robinson and Jeanne Segal, PhD
HelpGuide
Last updated: January 2021.

“The Stereotyped Offender: Domestic Violence and the Failure of Intervention”
Carolyn B. Ramsay
Penn State Law Review
2015

“We Run a Hotline for Male Victims and Perpetrators of Domestic Violence”
Avi Mor and Malka Genachowski
Newsweek: My Turn
April 28, 2021

~~~~~~~~~~

Critical Thinking Questions

1.  What’s happening?

2.  Why is it important?

3.  What don’t I see?

4.  How do I know?

5.  Who is saying it?

6.  What else? What if?

Stereotype Thinking Questions

1.  What is threatening my beliefs?

2.  How can I make it unimportant?

3.  What can I reject?

4.  What can I laugh at?

5.  How can I attack people who threaten my beliefs?

6.  How can I deflect?

The stereotype thinking questions are mine, based on my observations of stereotype thinkers.

~~~~~~~~~~

Paula M. Kramer
© 2015 to the present
All rights reserved.

Posts on this blog alternate with posts at the link below. Posts for both blogs are published on Wednesdays as they are ready to be published. Time between posts could be weeks or months.

blog.smilessparksuccess.com

Resource Websites

speakingfromtriumph.com

smilessparksuccess.com

Business Directory

betterplanetbusiness.com

Positive Identity Directory For People With Mugshots

myrecordnow.com

 

Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: Workplaces

My collection of stereotypes comes from books, magazines, newspapers, movies, television shows, radio programs, news shows, conversations, podcasts, etc. Sources can be 10s to 100s to 1000s of years old.

Stereotypes and categories overlap at times. I create categories of stereotypes as I have stereotype examples to put into those categories.

The research into gossip goes back at least to the middle of the 20th century. Both men and women research gossip. Putting all of their research together, this is my definition:

Gossip is talk and writing about people
— both other people and ourselves —
in family, social, workplace, and public settings.

Much of the research shows that gossip is both positive and negative. I define gossip as good, bad, or ugly. Good gossip ignores or breaks stereotypes. Bad gossip uses stereotypes. Ugly gossip manufactures stereotypes.

Negative stereotypes exist about everyone, no matter their age, gender, race, religion, profession, etc. These stereotype blog posts will help you understand the negative stereotypes about you.

If you use negative stereotypes about people who are different from you, you are inviting everyone who hears you to use negative stereotypes about you.

Stereotype Updates

I add stereotypes as I come across them.

I will add the new stereotypes at the bottom of each listing, putting ~~~~~ between the older stereotypes and the new stereotypes.

More Stereotypes

Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: People In General

Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: Ethnic, National, & Racial Stereotypes

Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: Romance

Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: Poverty

~~~~~~~~~~

Tired of losing out to stereotypes?
Learn strategies for taking positive control
in the small spaces of situations and relationships.
People who take positive control position themselves to attract unimagined success.

softskillstrategycourses.com

~~~~~~~~~~

Men In The Workplace

Businessmen

aggressive
materialistic
mercenary

Handsome Men

ambitious
self-interest is a threat to management
opinionated

Managers

domineering
challenging

Men Who File Sexual Harassment Charges

not real men
sexually deviant

Nice Guys

finish last

When Men Fail On The Job, The Stereotyped Reasons Include:

lack of effort
difficult situations
bad luck

When Men Succeed On The Job, The Stereotyped Reasons Include:

ability
talent

Women In The Workplace

Attractive Women

stupid
should be trophy wife instead of career woman
interested in sex
schemers
less trustworthy
more expendable
should smile at everyone
less competent

Businesswomen

less happy with success
unattractive
aggressive
unpopular
less likely to maintain a steady relationship
egoist
dominant
hide feelings
less feminine
less desirable

Feminine Dressing Women

low managerial skills
low interest in work
illogical
overemotional in critical decision making
financially irresponsible
helpless
dependent on the influences of others
sexy
flirtatious in social relations
not assertive
low independence
low self-confidence

Women Are Seen As Unsuitable For Management Positions…

when their hair is long, curly,  extreme in color, in the face, fastened with barrettes and ribbons

when they wear extreme amounts and colors of makeup, soft or tight sweaters, low necklines, ruffled blouses,
dangling or ostentatious jewelry,  and don’t wear a jacket

when they are attractive

Women Bosses

petty
envious
power-mad
aggressive

Women Who Cry On The Job

weak
vulnerable
crack under pressure

Women Who File Sexual Harassment Charges

whiners
complainers
incompetent

Women Who Use The Titles Miss Or Mrs.

lacking personality characteristics of a successful middle manager

Women Who Use The Title Ms.

more motivated
more masculine
less likable

When Women Fail On The Job, The Stereotyped Reasons Include:

no talent
no ability

When Women Succeed On The Job, The Stereotyped Reasons Include

unstable conditions
external causes

General Experiences For
Women In Workplaces

Fewer

opportunities
promotions
resources

Less

accommodation
authority
autonomy
approval for efforts
cooperation
credit
pay
respect

Lower

performance evaluations

More

disapproval for efforts
interruptions
pressure

General  Stereotypes
About Women Workers

Less

competent
knowledgeable
less authority

Not good as leaders

Too emotional to do important work

Incapable of assertiveness

Deviant for

showing competence and assertiveness
interrupting men

General Stereotypes
About Women’s Work

Less

important
authoritative
convincing
valuable

Inferior

Deserving rejection

Unworthy of recognition

More Insights Into
Gender Bias

“How to Navigate Bias Traps Toward Your Ultimate Success with Gifty Enright”
Shedding the Corporate Bitch Podcast With Host Bernadette Boas
March 5, 2024

Performance

Attribution

Likeability

Affinity

Maternal

Intersectionality

5:55 to 9:05

 

Professions

Athletes

can’t hold regular jobs

 Biology Teachers

nerdy

Business Coaches

big egos
haven’t accomplished anything
couldn’t succeed themselves
their way or the highway
tell rather than coach
consider themselves gurus
full of s—

CEOs

need huge salaries and bonuses for motivation to do their jobs well

Cheerleaders

slutty
queen-bees
wear short skirts
gum-chewing ditzy snobs
airheads
gossipy
mean

Clothing Designers

aggressive

Community Organizers

rabble rousers
outside agitators
professional agitators

Construction Workers

ordinary
unremarkable

Entrepreneurs

criminals

Executive Coaches

no domain experience
parrots who only listen instead of asking questions after listening
on cruse control doing rinse and repeat with clients
coach executives to manage the little people in a company
promise simple answers and quick results
exploit powerful hold over clients

Executives Who Say Goodbye To Every Employee At The End Of The Day

checking up on employees

Government Officials

tell lies
cover up the truth
engage in conspiracies to deprive citizens of their liberty

Interns

untrustworthy

Journalists

callous
cavalier
hound celebrities
interested in human weakness
chew up private lives for entertainment

Lawyers

untrustworthy
contemptible
fast talkers
dishonest
subverters of justice
look for loopholes

Life Coaches

think they know more than anyone else
think they are better than anyone else
unqualified
underequipped
undertrained
delusional
manipulative sellers
no domain expertise
scam artists
psychologists with no credentials
shamers
bullshit jobs

Men In Ads Selling Beauty Products, Shopping, & Fulfilling Lives To Women

bumbling fools

Men In Commercials Selling Laundry Detergent

not guys

Military Historians

right wing
morally suspect
just plain dumb

Military Pilots Who See Surface Air Missiles Where Government Intelligence Believes They Can’t Be

cowboy pilots

Models

airheads who make pots of money for not doing much

Pilots

alcoholics

Secretaries

materialistic
overly emotional
often irrational
physically limited
less than committed to the job
don’t perform well
not valuable
dependable

Sex Surrogates

prostitutes

Soldiers

shell shocked soldiers are neurotically susceptible and infantile

American Soldiers

mean
aggressive killers

Tarot Card Reader

flakes

Treasure Hunters / Shipwreck Hunters

only in it for the money

Truck Drivers

hog the right of way
drive dangerously
cause most car truck accidents
bullies
menace on the highway

Writers Of Fiction

difficult temperament

~~~~~~~~~~

Male Dancers

sissies

Male Elementary School Teachers

pedophiles
failures as men

Male Kindergarten Teachers

babysitters

Male Librarians

wimpy
asexual

Male Nurses

gay (which assumes that being gay is bad)

Male Social Workers

feminine
passive

Men Who Work In Stereotypical Female Professions

taking a step down
enjoy a glass escalator of preferential treatment for hiring and promotion

~~~~~~~~~~

Female Scientists Who Are Feminine

incompetent

Female Scientists Who Are Masculine

unlikable

Female Scientists Who Have Children

not committed to their work
incompetent

Female Scientists Who Speak Their Mind Or Are Decisive

too masculine

Female Working In A Dealership Service Center

doesn’t now what she’s doing

Women Running For Political Office

young girls
little housewives who don’t know anything
incompetent

Individual Characteristics

Half White / Half Black

Performs better than Black

Low Income Workers

will not be motivated by higher salaries to do their jobs well or work harder
will only be motivated by the threat of their jobs being moved overseas

Older Workers

absent more
lower productivity levels
less flexible in their behavior
unable to learn new skills
prone to job-related accidents

Plus Size Workers

blameworthy
guilt-ridden
untrustworthy
incompetent
salesclerks
pushy
insensitive
insincere
fawning

People Who Do Their Jobs Well

hall monitor
tattle tale
troublemaker
trying to get coworkers in trouble
hormonal
rebellious
stroppy (British for bad-tempered)
time of the month
bad tempered
argumentative

Successful Black Women / Career Black women

arrogant
hard
controlling
self-centered
uppity

Whistleblowers

squealers
rats
stoop-pigeons
finks
loose cannons
dangers to businesses damaging to career of fellow workers
habitual liars
irresponsible
masters of deceit
criminals
fudged resumes

Workers With Disabilities

incompetent
vulnerable
ineligible for jobs

Shared Stereotypes

Shared Stereotypes #1

Businessmen
Businesswomen
Women Bossess
Clothing Designers
American Soldiers

aggressive

Shared Stereotypes #2

Businessmen
Secretaries

materialistic

Shared Stereotype #3

Businesswomen
Women Who Use The Title Ms.

more masculine

Shared Stereotypes #4

Women Who Cry On The Job
Workers With Disabilities

vulnerable

Shared Stereotypes #5

Women Who File Sexual Harassment Charges
Female Scientists Who Are Feminine
Female Scientists Who Have Children
Women Running For Political Office
Overweight Workers
Workers With Disabilities

incompetent

Shared Stereotypes #6

Cheerleaders
American Soldiers

mean

Shared Stereotypes #7

Entrepreneurs
Whistleblowers

criminals

Opposite Stereotypes

 

Opposite Stereotypes #1

Feminine Dressing Women

flirtatious in social relations not assertive

Opposite Stereotypes #2

General Stereotypes About Women

Incapable of assertiveness deviant for showing assertiveness

Opposite Stereotypes #3

Men Who Work In Stereotypical Female Professions

taking a step down riding a glass escalator up

Workplace Policies

Giving Raises, Health Care, & Retirement Benefits To Workers

will increase inflation
squeeze profit margins
end economic prosperity

Giving Stock Options, Bonuses, & Multimillion Dollar Salaries To CEOs

will lower inflation
increase profit margins
lead to  economic prosperity

Research On The Impact Of Parental Work

work-family issues are concerns for women
focuses on the mother having a job or the father losing a job

Points to Ponder
About Men in the Workplace

Men in women’s fields enjoy a glass escalator of preferential treatment for hiring and promotion and are over represented in managerial positions. But choosing a career in a traditionally female field means you’ll face stereotypes of failure and criminality.

Points to Ponder
About Women in the Workplace

If you are a woman, be careful to never use any of the negative stereotypes about women in the workplace against other women. If you do, you will be giving permission to everyone else the stereotypes about women in the workplace.

Points to Ponder
About Pay & Benefits

Did you notice the following?

Money and benefits supposedly motivate CEOs but not the workers that keep the company going.

Raises for CEOs supposedly benefit the economy but raises for ordinary workers supposedly harm the economy.

Secretaries cannot be motivated by raises but are materialistic while CEOs need big pay raises to be motivated but are not materialistic.

Perhaps we should ask the CEOs who get the top pay and benefits to explain why programs that give money to the poor have created so many benefits that dozens of countries have those programs.

~~~~~~~~~~

Critical Thinking Questions

  1. What’s happening?
  2. Why is it important?
  3. What don’t I see?
  4. How do I know?
  5. Who is saying it?
  6. What else? What if?

Stereotype Thinking Questions

  1. What is threatening my beliefs?
  2. How can I make it unimportant?
  3. What can I reject?
  4. What can I laugh at?
  5. How can I attack people who threaten my beliefs?
  6. How can I deflect?

The stereotype thinking questions are mine, based on my observations of stereotype thinkers.

~~~~~~~~~~

Paula M. Kramer
© 2015 to the present
All rights reserved.

Posts on this blog alternate with posts at the link below. Posts for both blogs are published on Wednesdays as they are ready to be published. Time between posts could be weeks or months.

blog.smilessparksuccess.com

Resource Websites

speakingfromtriumph.com

smilessparksuccess.com

Business Directory

betterplanetbusiness.com

Positive Identity Directory For People With Mugshots

myrecordnow.com

 

In A Sacred World Order, Everyone Loses

Since the early 1980s, I have written and read letters to the editor and social media comments. I came to recognize that millions of U.S. citizens share a belief. They believe in what I call a Sacred World Order. They consider this world order sacred because they believe it was ordained by their God. I identified three levels to this Sacred World Order

Tsars of Truth

Monitors of Morality

Beasts of Burden

I refuse to refer to people forced to the bottom of the Sacred World Order merely as “Beasts”. Therefore, I came up with a descriptive phrase for people at each level.

Tsars of Truth are Toxic Tsars. Their ‘truth” limits the lives of everyone, including their own lives.

Monitors of Morality are Menial MonitorsThey wrongly think that loyalty will convince Toxic Tsars to protect them from pain.

Beasts of Burden are Bullied BeastsToxic Tsars and Menial Monitors bully the people they consider beneath them into lives of pain.

Each level has its own task in the sacred world order.

Tsars of Truth

Feel they are God’s representatives to the world

In their minds, their words can speak only Truth, nothing less. They maintain their Tsar level status by limiting contact with everyone they consider beneath them. They prefer contact with Bullied Beasts only when Bullied Beasts accept their Beast of Burden status. Toxic Tsars are certain that Bullied Beasts should feel pain so that Toxic Tsars can live pain free lives. Toxic Tsars give some rewards to Menial Monitors for keeping Bullied Beasts in their proper place. If Toxic Tsars feel any pain from Menial Monitors, however, they would quickly transform Menial Monitors into Bullied Beasts.

Monitors of Morality

Feel loyalty to Toxic Tsars

Menial Monitors identify with Toxic Tsars by copying their words and actions. Menial Monitors agree that Bullied Beasts should feel all pain. They monitor Bullied Beasts to protect Toxic Tsars from pain. Menial Monitors look to Toxic Tsars for protection from pain as a reward for protecting Toxic Tsars from pain.

Beasts of Burden

Feel depression and anger from forced pain

Bullied Beasts live with their pain as best they can while trying to bring attention to the unfairness of their pain. They know they do not deserve the pain, but can have difficulty finding ways to end it. When possibilities for sabotage occur, Bullied Beasts who see no other alternative consider taking revenge on Menial Monitors and Toxic Tsars.

You can recognize which level people put themselves in or find themselves in from what they say about themselves and other people. I found an article that clearly revealed all three levels. This post reveals the sacred world order in that one situation. Future posts in this sacred world order category will be quotes from all three levels for a single category, as in:

Race

Politics

Poverty

Religion

Health

Etc.

After a post for a category is published, I will add appropriate quotes as I come across them.

Each post will include this link to illustrate why Toxic Tsars and Menial Monitors are wrong about keeping Bullied Beasts down. When Toxic Tsars suppress others, they lose more than they realize. Their losses could include their own lives. Millions of Toxic Tsars and Menial Monitors are alive today because of a man they would have limited as a Bullied Beast.

Vivien Thomas was a black male teenage carpenter when he applied for a job in a surgical research lab in 1930. White surgeon Dr. Alfred Blalock recognized a passion for medicine and healing in Thomas. Together they created a legacy that is still saving millions of lives through heart surgery. That legacy is worldwide because Vivien Thomas taught the techniques for heart surgery to doctors from around the world. Vivien Thomas’s formal education ended with his high school graduation.

“The Sins of the Fathers”
Jason Berry
Chicago Reader
May 23, 1991

This article is very long and reveals how the police and the Catholic hierarchy also bullied the Doe family, including Student Doe.

Toxic Tsar

Parents John and Jane Doe
Visited school principal Barbara Hill about their son coming home with bruises every day from playground beatings.

“She told us our son was oversensitive, that he misinterpreted children’s play, and she said rather emphatically, ‘A principal’s place is not on the playground.'”

Bullied Beast

John Doe
Parent of Student Doe

“When four boys hold my son down and two of them kick him, that’s not play.”

Toxic Tsar

Principal Barbara Hill

“That can’t be happening,” Hill reportedly stated, calling the fights “a figment of [the boy’s] imagination.”

Menial Monitor

Patricia Bobb
Attorney for Barbara Hill

“It’s an absolute outrage to me that my client has to be put through this.”

Bullied Beast

Student Doe
In a transcript, Student Doe said Principal Hill told him:

“You’re mentally retarded.”

Toxic Tsar

Father Lake
Responding to John and Jane Doe’s removal of Student Doe from the school.

“It is with deep regret that I read you were forced to move your child from [our] school. I am grateful that you brought your situation to our attention. However, I disagree with your charge of a lack of positive response and corrective action. We have looked into the matter of discipline, supervision and abuse. We will continue to emphasize Christian values of love & respect for one another [and] take necessary corrective action in order to provide a safe & orderly atmosphere for the children.”

~~~~~

Principal Barbara Hill obviously considered herself a Tsar of Truth. She considered the students Beasts of Burden. As a Toxic Tsar, she needed to keep her distance from the Bullied Beasts on the playground.

Menial Monitor Patricia Bobb was determined to protect Toxic Tsar Barbara Hill from any pain. She found nothing wrong with bruises on Bullied Beasts.

Father Lake also felt that his words were Truth. He believed Bullied Beasts John and Jane Doe were incapable of recognizing Truth.

Everyone lost. Student Doe lost the ability to enjoy his time at that school. John and Jane Doe lost the ability to trust that school. Principal Barbara Hill, Attorney Patricia Bobb, and Father Lake lost respect at the very least when Chicago Reader published the story. By trying to force all pain on Student Doe and his parents, Principal Hill, Attorney Bobb, and Father Lake brought pain to themselves.

The article includes allegations about sexual abuse and stories from other victims. The Catholic Church, of course, tried to silence the Doe family.

“Meanwhile, church attorneys are moving forward with a three-pronged defense–
stall for time; counterattack; and preserve the policy by which the archdiocese
handles accusations of clergy child abuse.”

The Chicago Reader article was published in 1991. In 2019, we know far more about the horrors of abuse in Catholic schools and churches. I attended Catholic schools for 12 years. During that time I witnessed teachers and administrators being verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive to children. For about 20 years after I finished high school, I paid attention when someone talked about adults being physically violent to children in school. I asked if the school was public or Catholic. I didn’t keep a total count, but I asked that question at least 10 times. Only once was the answer “public school”.

The Catholic Church lost respect, members, and money because it tried to put all pain on the families they forced to be Bullied Beasts. I am one of the members the Catholic Church lost. Even as a child, I knew I did not deserve the verbal and emotional pain those Toxic Tsars forced on me.

God/Higher Power/Universe

Whoever or whatever is in charge, He/She/It/They distribute(s) pain equally. Birth defects, illnesses, and “acts of God” in the natural world bring pain to everyone. Toxic Tsars bring more pain to themselves with their toxic beliefs.

“16 Royals Who Suffered From Hereditary Mutations And Defects Caused By Inbreeding”
Trista
History Collection
No Date

“Bel Air’s multi-million dollar mansions get no special treatment from California’s wildfires”
Elizabeth Segal
Independent
December 8, 2017

“What Kills Billionaires”
Vanessa Gisquet
Forbes Magazine
April 5, 2005

~~~~~

Paula M. Kramer
Copyright 2019 and onward
All rights reserved.

Posts on this blog alternate with posts at the link below. Posts for both blogs are published on Wednesdays as they are ready to be published. Time between posts could be weeks or months.

blog.smilessparksuccess.com

Paula’s Proverbs Posters

Truth Or Propaganda?

Ignoring People/Opportunities

Opportunities, Not Fairy Tales

Equality/Superiority

Deliver Dignity

Resource Websites

speakingfromtriumph.com

smilessparksuccess.com

Business Directory

betterplanetbusiness.com

Positive Identity Directory For People With Mugshots

myrecordnow.com

It’s All Right To Say You’re Disabled As Long As You Don’t Act Disabled

When I was 12 years old, a boy in school who had a crush on me pulled my chair out from under me to get my attention. I landed hard on my tailbone. The pain in my lower spine started right away. My mother took me to our family doctor who delivered my first misdiagnosis. It took 33 years to get the correct diagnosis.

The pain in my spine was always intermittent, depending on what I did. By the last two years of high school, sitting had become very painful. During assemblies in the auditorium, I sat in folding chairs in aisles instead of in the curved seats that my back couldn’t tolerate.

By my late 20s, I also had trouble standing for any length of time. I could not fully participate in social events because I could neither sit nor stand with my friends for any length of time. When I started college at 34, I needed a special chair that I pushed to classes in the building where I kept the chair. The chair was an old rocker with the rockers cut off. It had wheels on it and a bar across the back for pushing. When I sat in it, my knees were higher than my hips. I felt much less pain when sitting with my knees higher than my hips.

For classes in other buildings, I sat on one seat with my feet on another seat or sat on the floor against a wall. I used a back support pillow wherever I sat. For one class, I lay on the floor. Instead of carrying a backpack, I bought a used piece of carry on luggage and pulled it around on a small luggage cart. The office that worked with disabled people did everything it could to make attending college as comfortable for me as possible.

The world outside the university was far less accommodating. My father was dead and my mother and siblings were not the least bit accommodating. My mother’s response to my back problems was, “Everyone has back problems.” One of the few times my older sister was willing to talk about the pain in my back she asked me, “Are you sure it isn’t emotional?” I told my sister that if I fastened a belt too tightly, my spine hurt. If I loosened the belt, the pain went away. I asked her how that could be emotional. She said, “I don’t know…”, but still felt that my pain must be emotional. Because my mother had tried to kill me when I was very young, she taught my siblings to ignore what I said and discount what I did. My older sister was determined to ignore what I said no matter what the evidence was.

My second sister decided that for me “long term solutions” meant that I should stop being irresponsible and go out and get a job. She told me that going to school was harder on my back than working at a job would be. She didn’t bother to ask me about my experiences going to school because she wasn’t about to pay attention to anything I said.

All of my sisters provide examples of how my family discounted what I did. While visiting each of these sisters, I lay on the floors of their living rooms, trying to ease pain in my hips. My third sister shared a bedroom with my daughter and me one night when we went to my first brother’s wedding. The room had a sofa bed for two. I told my sister she could sleep on the sofa bed with my daughter because sleeping on it would leave me in pain. I slept on the floor. All of my sisters discounted my actions to relieve my pain as evidence that I could have trouble earning money.

I was always in more pain around my siblings because I sat and stood normally when I was with them. I mostly saw them only every two or three years for two or three days. When I socialized with my friends, I did not sit or stand normally. I would sit on the floor leaning against something or walk in circles around a standing group or pace back and forth near a seated group. I saw my friends more often so I had other opportunities to talk to them if I couldn’t sit or stand near them at a social event.

But I saw my siblings so seldom that I sat normally with them and stood in place leaning against something instead of pacing. Still hopeful that they would eventually treat me like a member of their family, I tried to have as much interaction with them as possible. But the pain would become intense and I would have to deal with it, often by laying on the floor.

After my husband died, my parents-in-law would give us food when they could. My father-in-law occasionally decided to teach me a lesson in responsibility by refusing to help me get heavy boxes of food into the trunk of my car.

A woman who once told me she believed in me and who had seen my sitting and standing difficulties once demanded, “Go out and get a job!”

Without asking me, a well-meaning friend lined up a job for me at a small organization. The job was clerical/secretarial. It meant sitting normally at a desk with a typewriter or computer and answering the phone. I would have been able to sit at the desk for only a short period of time before the pain started. Then I would have had to walk around or lie on the floor to ease the pain. When I told my friend I couldn’t take the job, she became angry.

In my 30s, an orthopedic surgeon who delivered yet another misdiagnosis sent me to a physical therapist to take the functionality test for Social Security disability payments. I told the physical therapist about the boy pulling the chair out from under me at school. I told her that the pain was not bad at first so I just kept doing everything. I told her that the pain continually increased so I had to stop doing all kinds of things to limit the pain. When the physical therapist explained what I had to do for the test I burst into tears, knowing the test would leave me in agony. The physical therapist decided I was “hostile” to her. She told me that if I just kept doing what hurt the pain would go away because my pain was emotional. Her misdiagnosis denied me disability payments.

Going to chiropractors would ease the pain but not stop it. One chiropractor figured out that I felt pain when I put weight on my spine. Sitting and standing normally put weight on my spine. Carrying anything put weight on my spine. This sympathetic chiropractor tried to save me from having to work at jobs that would be harmful to my back when I applied for food stamps and medical assistance. One of the women in charge of determining food stamp eligibility also had back problems. She told me, “I know back pain” and informed me that she expected me to find a 20 hour a week job. I didn’t because I couldn’t.

The sympathetic chiropractor sent me for x-rays. The x-rays showed my spine had no S curve in it.

Because my income was low my bills were high. I had to charge smaller bills to my credit card so I could pay my mortgage. I contacted a financial aid counselor for help. I explained about my back and my difficulty earning money. I asked her if there were a way I could get the interest on my credit cards reduced. She responded, “Why don’t you just stop using your credit cards?” I wrote her a letter and told her that telling me to stop using my credit cards was telling me to become homeless.

Because I had difficulty earning money and because I could not get disability, I asked for help when I was desperate. Sometimes the people I asked were not appropriate to ask, but no one appropriate was available to ask. Many people said, “No.” Enough people said yes that I am still alive. If everyone had said no, I would be dead. I am alive also because of my daughter. When she was 10 years, my daughter got her first babysitting job. With her babysitting earnings and then with earnings from fast food jobs, my daughter helped to buy food and pay bills. Because my teenage daughter worked as many hours as she could, we managed to avoid homelessness.

In the 33rd year of my pain, I started carrying a cane with me when I went to public places. I didn’t need it for walking. I needed it to lean on if I couldn’t stand near something to lean against. By then, standing normally for two minutes would leave me in excruciating pain. The only pain free way for me to sit that year was on a low chair with my feet on a stool so they were level with my head.

I received the correct diagnosis for my injury from a nurse in an audience for a talk I gave to a business women’s group. I had to lean against a tall stool to do the talk, so I explained my back injury. I asked everyone in the audience to tell any children in their lives to never pull a chair out from under anyone. The sympathetic chiropractor had told me that some people are instantly paralyzed.

The nurse told me that when I hit the floor, my spinal cord tensed up. Her husband was a chiropractor who used a little known technique called Neural Organizational Technique (NOT). He told me that the tension in my spinal cord pulled my pelvis out of place. My out of place pelvis pulled my hips out of place. The chiropractor used NOT on me and ended 33 years of pain in my spine. The pain in my spine ended with the first NOT treatment, but then I felt new pain.

Releasing the tension in my spinal cord moved my pelvis back into place. It had taken 33 years to get pulled out of place as far as it was. It moved back into place within an hour. All of the muscles in my back from my shoulders to my hips suddenly had to function differently. I still feel pain in all of those muscles, and my hips still shift out of place easily. Out of place hips are very painful.

I had to move back into employment slowly because sitting and standing normally now made my muscles hurt. It was far less crippling pain than the pain in my spine, but it was still pain.

I did a lot of temporary work. To ease the pain in my muscles, I would figure out creative ways to get work done. On one temporary job, my coworkers listened to what I told them about my back, watched how I accomplished my task, then said, “This is the way we do it. It’s easy.”

On another job, I needed to wear a shoulder wrap filled with seeds to ease the pain from typing on a keyboard at the wrong height. I put it in a plastic bag to warm it up in the lunchroom microwave. One woman complained that it smelled and that she did not want hair in her food. Management made me bring my own microwave and put it in a warehouse. My breaks consisted entirely of walking back to the warehouse to warm up my shoulder wrap. And the woman who sat closest to me told me she never smelled anything. She also didn’t think hair could get into anyone’s food when the shoulder wrap was inside a plastic bag.

When I visited a dentist I told him I had to make small monthly payments because I had trouble earning money. My payments were $5 because my weekly food budget was $40 for my daughter and me. If I paid any more money to the dentist, I would have had to buy less food for my daughter and me. Two members of the dentist’s staff continually let me know that I should be making bigger payments no matter what.

The long series of misdiagnoses prevented me from getting the treatment that would have enabled me to earn money. Difficulty earning money meant difficulty paying bills. The clinic where the orthopedic surgeon and the physical therapist worked sent me a letter informing me that if I came in again for any kind of treatment, I would have to pay $50 up front. I transferred my files elsewhere.

Because of the pain I feel, I can work in my yard and garden only half an hour a day. If I do more than that I have to take a soaking bath to ease the pain. Half an hour is not enough time to keep my yard and garden looking neat. Shoveling snow, vacuuming, and mopping also require soaking baths. People do not look at my house and yard and think, “Oh, she must be in pain.” No, they look at my house and my yard and think “She’s a slob.” One of my brothers-in-law once said to my face, “You’re a slob.”

Of course, there are people who say they have back pain who do not have back pain. If you meet someone who complains they cannot work because of the pain in their spine, ask them what they do for fun. People who have real back pain can neither work much nor play much. I haven’t been to a movie theater in years because I spend the entire movie in pain. I have lain on the floor at concerts. I have leaned against walls at religious services. If someone says they cannot work but can do anything for fun, they probably are faking the back pain. Anyone who can do little for fun is in pain.

Any action you take towards another person is an invitation for other people to take the same action toward you. Unless you have a written guarantee that you will never be disabled, you may want to make sure you accept disability for what it is. A disability is a physical or mental or psychological condition that forces an individual to function differently from the way abled people function. Please accept our different ways of functioning.

~~~~~

Critical Thinking Questions

1.  What’s happening?

2.  Why is it important?

3.  What don’t I see?

4.  How do I know?

5.  Who is saying it?

6.  What else? What if?

Stereotype Thinking Questions

1.  What is threatening my beliefs?

2.  How can I make it unimportant?

3.  What can I reject?

4.  What can I laugh at?

5.  How can I attack people who threaten my beliefs?

6.  How can I deflect?

The stereotype thinking questions are mine, based on my observations of stereotype thinkers.

~~~~~

Online workshop that provides strategies to chip away stereotypes in both professional and personal relationships:

End Negative Gossip & Increase Collaboration

“After participating in the gossip power presentation, I know I now have a better plan to be more effective in understanding how gossip affects every area of a person’s personal and professional life. Using her strategies on gossip power and gossip ears I feel I will be better able to navigate these areas both inside and outside the office. Paula does a great job, using both scientific research and personal anecdotes and examples, to develop strategies for turning the power of gossip into positives for anyone attending her presentation. I left energized and excited about her message and what I learned and am definitely looking forward to learning more at her glass ceiling presentation.“
Mark Spiers
SBDC Consultant

~~~~~

Paula M. Kramer
© 2015 to the present
All rights reserved.

Posts on this blog alternate with posts at the link below. Posts for both blogs are published on Wednesdays as they are ready to be published. Time between posts could be weeks or months.

blog.smilessparksuccess.com

Gossip Posters

Gossip Proverb

Good, Bad, & Ugly Gossip

Resource Websites

speakingfromtriumph.com

smilessparksuccess.com

Business Directory

betterplanetbusiness.com

Positive Identity Directory For People With Mugshots

myrecordnow.com

Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: Ethnic, National, & Racial Identities

My collection of stereotypes comes from books, magazines, newspapers, movies, television shows, radio programs, news shows, conversations, podcasts etc. Sources can be 10s to 100s to 1000s of years old.

Stereotypes and categories overlap at times. I create categories of stereotypes as I have stereotype examples to put into those categories.

The research into gossip goes back at least to the middle of the 20th century. Both men and women research gossip. Putting all of their research together, this is my definition:

Gossip is talk and writing about people
— both other people and ourselves —
in family, social, workplace, and public settings.

Much of the research shows that gossip is both positive and negative. I define gossip as good, bad, or ugly. Good gossip ignores or breaks stereotypes. Bad gossip uses stereotypes. Ugly gossip manufactures stereotypes.

Negative stereotypes exist about everyone, no matter their age, gender, race, religion, profession, etc. These stereotype blog posts will help you understand the negative stereotypes about you.

If you use negative stereotypes about people who are different from you, you are inviting everyone who hears you to use negative stereotypes about you.

Stereotype Updates

I add stereotypes as I come across them.

I will add the new stereotypes at the bottom of each listing, putting ~~~~~ between the older stereotypes and the new stereotypes.

More Stereotypes

Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: People In General

Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: Workplaces

Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: Romance

Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: Poverty

~~~~~

Tired of losing out to stereotypes?
Learn strategies for taking positive control
in the small spaces of situations and relationships.
People who take positive control position themselves to attract unimagined success.

softskillstrategycourses.com

~~~~~

Africans

noisy
produce kitchen odors

African American / Black / Negro People

violent criminals
ignorant
lazy
dirty
quick tempered
superstitious
hostile
on welfare or jobless
unintelligent
negative personality
mean
corrupt
stupid
ostentatious
lewd
dishonest
submissive

African American / Black / Negro Women

angry
entitled
single mothers

African American / Black / Negro Men

tall men are brutes
tall men are threatening
hoodie and sweats wearers are lazy
hoodie and sweats wearers are unintelligent

“African American” Suggests To Many People

more concern for one group than for society
less persuasive ability
not as likable
tend to complain about small things

Liberals Often Feel Excluded By The African American Label, Feeling It Focuses

attention on the label rather than on larger issues

Americans

intrusive
forward
pushy
stingy
selfish
hoarders
aggressive
materialistic
mercenary
crazy
governed by buffoons
arrogant
self-indulgent
hypocritical
unwilling or unable to engage in dialogue with other cultures

Arabs

aggressive
cunning
gook
chink
Kung-Fu fighters

Belgians

egotistical
unhelpful
unscientifically minded
inefficient

Canadians

would be living in igloos without America

Chinese

superstitious
sly

Cubans

bring exotic diseases to the United States

Dutch

negative
egoistical
dominant
less intelligent
lacking individualism

British

aggressive
egoistical
unfriendly
unhelpful
snobbish
cold

British Coppers

uneducated
seldom read books

French

rude
egoistical
aggressive
dominance
~~~~~
sly

Germans

lacking empathy
dominant
aggressive

Haitians

undesirable blacks
peasants
uneducated
unskilled
poor
wild
weird
bring exotic diseases to the United States

Hispanics / Latinx

greasy
lazy

Immigrants

dangerous
dirty
threatening
criminals
dishonest
complainers
aggressive
violent
lazy
noisy
involved in crime
ruin neighborhoods
don’t want to work
take our houses
take our jobs
abuse social security and welfare systems
cause problems at school
have a different mentality
cause dirtiness
cause urban decay
should be sent back
have too many children
treat women badly
~~~~~
know nothing about God

Iraqis

refugees
criminals

Irish

pugnacious
quick tempered
extremely nationalistic
stupid
improvident
sloppy drunks

Italians

not intelligent
unreliable
aggressive
dominant
unscientific
clannish
Mafia
emotional
quick-tempered
impulsive

Japanese

sneaky
sly

Jews

aggressive
materialistic
mercenary
grasping
kikes

Native Americans

“Good” Native Americans

friendly
courteous
hospitable
handsome
stamina
endurance
modest
noble
dignified
brave
tender
proud
independent
innocent
child-like

“Bad” Native Americans

naked
lecherous
vanity
polygamous
promiscuous
warring
vengeful
brutal
lazy
impracticality
thieving
treacherous
conjurers
barbarous
low intellect
cruel
drunken
cowardly outlaws
inhuman fiends
improvident
filthy surroundings
inadequate cooking
repulsive diet
enslave squaws
culturally deprived

Native Americans on reservations

degraded
scorned
degenerate
poverty-stricken
outcasts from own race
drunkards

Pakistani

poor

Polish

stupid
racist
bigoted

Roma (Also Known As Gypsies)

thieves
dishonest
spies
incendiaries
suspicious
school dropouts
mentally handicapped
retarded
worthless
not human
inhuman behavior
should be killed
wanderers
disliked by God
pagans
heathens

Turks

cruel
treacherous

White Anglo Saxon Protestants (WASP)

cold
insensitive

White People

corrupt
greedy
competitive
arrogant
prejudiced
mean

White Men

angry
bros
prejudiced
entitled
bitchy
loud
dependent

White Women

self-absorbed
shallow
conceited
ditsy
uneducated
materialistic
sexually easy

Points to Ponder

The points to ponder here are the number of stereotypes shared by widely different groups. This sharing reveals commonality between all of those groups.

Examples of opposite stereotypes for the same group follow the shared stereotypes.

Shared Stereotypes

Shared Stereotypes #1

African American / Black / Negro People
Hispanic / Latinx
Immigrant

“Bad” Native Americans

lazy

Shared Stereotypes #2

African American / Black / Negro People
Immigrant

dirty

Shared Stereotypes #3

African American / Black / Negro People
White People

mean

Shared Stereotypes #4

Americans
Arabs
British
French
Germans
Immigrants
Italians
Jews

aggressive

Shared Stereotypes #5

Americans
White People

arrogant

Shared Stereotypes #6

Dutch
British
French

egoistical

Shared Stereotypes #7

Dutch
Germans
Italians

dominant

Shared Stereotypes #8

African American / Black / Negro People
Roma (Also known as Gypsies
Immigrants

dishonest

Shared Stereotypes #9

Haitians
White Women

            uneducated

Shared Stereotypes #10

African American / Black / Negro People
Immigrants
Iraqis

criminals

Shared Stereotypes #11

African American / Black / Negro People
Immigrants

violent

Shared Stereotypes #12

African American / Black / Negro People
Irish
Polish

stupid

Shared Stereotypes #13

Americans
Jews
White Women

materialistic

Shared Stereotypes #14

“Bad” Native Americans
Turksˆ

treacherous

Shared Stereotypes #15

“Bad” Native Americans
Turksˆ

cruel

Shared Stereotypes #16

White People
White Men

prejudiced

Opposite Stereotypes

Opposite Stereotypes #1

African American / Black / Negro People

hostile
submissive

Opposite Stereotypes #2

“Bad” Native Americans

warring
lazy

~~~~~~~~~~

Critical Thinking Questions

1.  What’s happening?

2.  Why is it important?

3.  What don’t I see?

4.  How do I know?

5.  Who is saying it?

6.  What else? What if?

Stereotype Thinking Questions

1.  What is threatening my beliefs?

2.  How can I make it unimportant?

3.  What can I reject?

4.  What can I laugh at?

5.  How can I attack people who threaten my beliefs?

6.  How can I deflect?

The stereotype thinking questions are mine, based on my observations of stereotype thinkers.

~~~~~

Paula M. Kramer
© 2015 to the present
All rights reserved.

Posts on this blog alternate with posts at the link below. Posts for both blogs are published on Wednesdays as they are ready to be published. Time between posts could be weeks or months.

blog.smilessparksuccess.com

Resource Websites

speakingfromtriumph.com

smilessparksuccess.com

Business Directory

betterplanetbusiness.com

Positive Identity Directory For People With Mugshots

myrecordnow.com

 

What White Supremacists Have To Give Up To Live Purely White Lives

In the process of adding new examples.

 

White supremacy definition:

“the belief, theory, or doctrine that white people are inherently superior
to people from all other racial groups, especially black people, and are
therefore rightfully the dominant group in any society.”

Dictionary.com

White supremacists and white nationalists see other racial groups as threats to their supremacy, especially since the white population is declining compared to people of color. Many white supremacists and white nationalists feel they have the right to kill to protect themselves from other racial groups.

But to prove they are the dominant group, white supremacists have to prove they need nothing from any other racial group, especially blacks. Therefore, to protect themselves from all other racial groups — especially blacks — they should live purely white lives. To live purely white lives, white supremacists would have to give up:

Airplane travel

Blood transfusions from blood banks

Carbon light bulbs

Coffee

Color IBM PC monitors

Controlled drug delivery

Driving through traffic lights

Eye disease diagnostic tests

Food delivered by refrigerated trucks

Elevators

Gunpowder and firearms

Hearing aids with electret microphones

Heart surgery

Home security systems with cameras

Ironing Boards

Music

Paper

Peripheral devices for computers (disk drives, printers, monitors)

Potato chips

TV remotes

Vanilla extract

Following the descriptions below are examples from other groups who threaten white supremacists. I will add more examples as I find them.

Perhaps the best way to make use of the examples is to mention the origins as each example comes up in daily conversation. Talking about the origins in social situations where you are surrounded by people means more than one person should hear you. Also take advantage of social media opportunities to mention the origins. In my experience, indirect methods can sometimes be more effective than direct methods.

“I’m glad the Totonacan Indians of Mexico learned to extract vanilla
flavor from vanilla beans hundreds of years ago. It’s one of my favorite
spices, and it’s in lots of the food I eat.”

“My mother had heart surgery and it saved her life. If black man
Vivien Thomas hadn’t developed the techniques for heart surgery
when he did, my mother might be dead now.”

“Funny that so many people think that Jews are all about finances
when a Jew invented the TV remote control.”

Iowa Congressman Steve King:

“I’d ask you to go back through history and figure out where these
contributions that have been made by these categories of people that
you’re talking about,” King said. “Where did any other sub-group of
people contribute more to civilization?”

“Than white people?” asked host Chris Hayes.

“Than western civilization itself,” King responded, “which is rooted in
western Europe, Eastern Europe and the United States of America,
and every place where the footprint of Christianity settled the world.
That’s all of western civilization.”

“Congressman Steve King: whites aided civilization more than other ‘sub-groups'”
Scott Bixby
The Guardian
July 18, 2016

Conservative Essayist Lawrence Auster:

Recently I wrote:

And that is all that blacks as an organized community have to
contribute to our civilization: endless complaints about white
injustice to blacks, and endless demands for the wealth and
goods that white people have produced, and that blacks are
incapable of producing.

To which a Christian blogger, Johann Happolati, responds:

This is absurd. In music alone (no small thing) blacks have made
many enduring contributions to civilization.

To avoid misunderstanding, I should have clarified the difference
between civilization and culture. While completely satisfactory
definitions of these concepts are not possible, and there is always
going to be some overlap between them, they are nevertheless
distinct. Civilization refers to the ordering principles and values
of a society: law, morality, government, philosophy, religion, science,
and technology, as well as art at its higher levels. Culture refers to the
expressions of a people, whether at the level of ordinary life, in the
sense of manners and morés and what we call a “way of life,” or at
the level of the arts and entertainment. Blacks have certainly made
contributions to our culture, in the areas of popular music and
idiom. They have made virtually no contribution to our civilization.”

“What Have Blacks Contributed To Our Civilization?”
Lawrence Auster
View From The Right
April 24, 2012

NASA named a 40,000-square-foot building the “Katherine G. Johnson Computational Research Facility” because Katherine Johnson made no contributions to science or technology?

Blood banks and heart surgery are not science?

Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall made no contribution to law?

“Thurgood Marshall was the first African-American U.S. Supreme Court
justice. Prior to becoming a judge, he founded and became the executive
director of the NAACP Legal Defence and Educational Fund.
His most well-known case as a lawyer was Brown v. Board of
Education of Topeka
,
available in HeinOnline’s U.S. Supreme
Court Library.
ScholarCheck statistics reflect that this case has
been cited by nearly 22,000 articles and more than 2,300 subsequent
cases.”

“Research African-Americans’ Contributions to Legal History”
Shannon Sabo
HelmOnline Blog
February 16, 2016

Eugene Jacques Bullard made no contribution to France during World War I?

“During his lifetime, the French showered Bullard with honors, and in 1954,
he was one of three men chosen to relight the everlasting flame at the Tomb
of the Unknown Soldier in Paris. In October 1959 he was made a knight of the
Legion of Honor, the highest ranking order and decoration bestowed by France.
It was the fifteenth decoration given to him by the French government.”

Story: Eugene J. Bullard
Dominick Pisano
Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum
October 12, 2010

You get the idea.

Airplane Travel

In 1953, a small Piper propeller plane “literally fell out of the clear blue sky and crashed to the ground” after going through the trailing wake of a larger plane. National Advisory Committee for Aeronautics (NACA) engineers assigned employee Katherine Goble the task of analyzing the photographic film record of the flight’s vital signs. Goble noted airspeed, acceleration, altitude, and other metrics. She made the required conversions using equations the engineers supplied for analyzing the converted data. Finally, Goble plotted the data to give the engineers “a visual snapshot of the plane’s disrupted flight”. The engineers then set up an experiment recreating the circumstances of the accident. They also gave that data to Katherine Goble to analyze.

The data revealed that when a plane passes through an area, it can leave air disturbance that lasts for as long as half an hour. The wake of a larger plane can make a smaller plane stumble and fall out of the sky. Other research found the same consequences. Because of that combined research, new air traffic regulations required minimum distances between flight paths. After Katherine Goble’s husband died, she remarried. As Katherine Johnson, she is known through the book and movie, Hidden Figures.

Hidden Figures
Margot Lee Shetterly
New York: HarperCollins
2016, quotes on page 128.

Blood Transfusions From Blood Banks

Father of Blood Banks Charles Drew, a black doctor, figured out how to process and preserve blood plasma, “banking” it for later use.

“Charles Drew”
Biography.com

Carbon Light Bulbs

Black man Lewis Latimer worked with Thomas Edison, helping to develop and patent the carbon light bulb.

Lewis Howard Latimer
Biography
Updated: February 2024

Coffee

The discovery of the coffee bean happened during the 8th century in Ethiopia or Yemen. The 15th century Sufi monasteries of Yemen have the first credible evidence for either coffee drinking or information about the coffee tree. Coffee spread throughout the Arab world before reaching Europe.

“Coffee and qahwa: How a drink for Arab mystics went global”
John McHugo
BBC News
April 18, 2013

“The History of Coffee”
Gourmet Coffee Lovers

Color IBM PC Monitors

Black man Mark Dean helped lead to computer monitors with color.

Mark Dean
Biography
Updated: January 13, 2021

Controlled Drug Delivery

Uruguayan Alejandro Zaffaroni’s companies invented Glucotrol to treat diabetes, Duragesic to manage chronic pain, Nicoderm CQ to quit smoking, and Transderm-Scop to prevent nausea and vomiting from motion sickness.

“Alejandro Zaffaroni”
Memorial Tributes: Volume 20
The National Academies Press
2016

“ALZA Corporation History”
Funding Universe

Eye Disease Diagnostic Tests

Vietnamese-born biophysicist Dr. Tuan Vo-Dinh invented optical scanning diagnostic equipment that can detect and diagnose eye diseases.

“Tuan Vo-Dinh”
Duke University

“Tuan Vo-Dinh”
Oak Ridge National Laboratory

Gunpowder and Firearms

The Song or Sung Dynasty (960-1279) of China produced gunpowder and firearms.

“The Chinese Invention of Gunpowder, Explosives, and Artillery and Their Impact on European Warfare”
Encyclopedia.com

Heart Surgery

In 1930, white surgeon Alfred Blalock hired 19 year old black male Vivien Thomas to work in his surgical research lab. Thomas developed the techniques and the first instruments for heart surgery. Thomas talked Dr. Blalock through the first dozens of “Blue Baby” heart surgeries. Dr. Blalock required every surgeon learning heart surgery to take a class in surgical techniques from Thomas. All the first white surgeons from around the world learned the techniques for heart surgery from a black man who had no formal education beyond a high school diploma.

“It’s A Wonderful Story, It Brought Tears To My Eyes. Thanks For Letting Ss See It But Try It Elsewhere”
Jack Limpert
Jacklimpert.com
November 6, 2014

“Something the Lord Made”
Katie McCabe
The Washingtonian
August, 1989
Reprinted on Longform Reprints

“Vivien Thomas Pioneered Surgery That Saved Millions Of Lives”
Scott S. Smith
Investors Business Daily
February 22, 2016

Home Security Systems With Cameras

Marie Van Brittan Brown invented the first home security system with cameras.

“This African American woman invented your home security system”
Stephanie Buck
Timeline
June 13, 2017

Music In 20th Century America

“We now know with the benefit of hindsight that the black  population of the Americas, almost all of them descendants of slaves, would reinvent popular music in the twentieth century. And they did it in so many ways: first with ragtime and the blues, then with early jazz and swing and the first stirrings of R&B, and again with soul, reggae, samba, boogie-woogie, doo-wop, bebop, calypso, funk, salsa, hip-hop, and numerous other genres and subgenres and hybrid genres. Even when white musicians stepped forward with their own distinctive popular music styles—whether it was “British Invasion” rock, disco, bluegrass, or whatever else climbed the charts for longer or shorter durations—they almost always did so with heavy borrowings from black sources or inspiration. No European cabaret, however fashionable or disreputable, could compete with this outpouring of creativity and innovation—one that continues in the current day.”

Music: A Subversive History
Ted Gioia
Basic Books
2019: Page 310

Paper

Chinese court official Cai Lun (also Ts’ai Lun) invented paper and the process for manufacturing paper.

“Cai Lun”
Encyclopedia Britannica

Potato Chips

African American/Native American George Crum was a chef who invented potato chips to please a picky customer.

“George Crum”
Lemelson-Mit

TV Remotes

Jew Robert G. Adler “was definitely the father of the clicker”, according to Jerry Pearlman, former chairman and chief executive of Zenith Electronics.

“The inventor of the ‘Remote Control’ dies.”
AnandTech Forums
Discussion started by techs
February 20, 2007

Vanilla Extract

The Totonaco Indians of Mexico were the first to extract vanilla from vanilla beans. Totonacans used vanilla as a medicine and a perfume. Aztecs later adopted vanilla and used it to flavor a chocolate drink. Eventually, the French learned how to cultivate vanilla beans and vanilla became one of the most widely used spices around the world.

“The History of Vanilla”
In Depth Info

Two More Threats to Superiority

For purity protection from people with disabilities and homosexuals, white supremacists should also give up:

Beef

Computers

Beef

Because she sees the world in a different way, autistic Temple Grandin understands animal behavior. Her insights have improved every step in the beef production process.

“Temple Grandin on how the autistic ‘think different'”
Karen Weintraub
USA Today
May 1, 2013

Computers

Homosexual Alan Turing was the father of computer science.

“Why Alan Turing is the father of computer science”
Jay McGregor
Techradar
June 7, 2014

White supremacists should walk their talk if they want everyone else to accept their inherent superiority.

Note

Any group of people can discriminate. Some gays are now joining white supremacists in discriminating against blacks and Jews.

“How the Alt-Right Is Using Sex and Camp to Attract Gay Men to Fascism”
Donna Minkowitz
Slate
June 5, 2017

Anyone who stereotypes others is practicing Foolish Failure at least. Full-Blown Failure, Fanatical Failure, Finding Fault Failure, and Blunder Backfires are also possible. Even intelligent people make failure choices.

~~~~~

Paula M. Kramer
© 2015 to the present
All rights reserved.

Posts on this blog alternate with posts at the link below. Posts for both blogs are published on Wednesdays as they are ready to be published. Time between posts could be weeks or months.

blog.smilessparksuccess.com

Soft Skill Power Strategies

softskillstrategycourses.com

Learn strategies for free in the blog posts

Gossip Posters

Gossip Proverb

Good, Bad, & Ugly Gossip

Resource Websites

speakingfromtriumph.com

smilessparksuccess.com

Business Directory

betterplanetbusiness.com

Positive Identity Directory For People With Mugshots

myrecordnow.com

 

 

Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: People In General

My collection of stereotypes comes from books, magazines, newspapers, movies, television shows, radio programs, news shows, conversations, podcasts, etc. Sources can be 10s to 100s to 1000s of years old.

Stereotypes and categories overlap at times. I create categories of stereotypes as I have stereotype examples to put into those categories.

The research into gossip goes back at least to the middle of the 20th century. Both men and women research gossip. Putting all of their research together, this is my definition:

Gossip is talk and writing about people
— both other people and ourselves —
in family, social, workplace, and public settings.

Much of the research shows that gossip is both positive and negative. I define gossip as good, bad, or ugly. Good gossip ignores or breaks stereotypes. Bad gossip uses stereotypes. Ugly gossip manufactures stereotypes.

Negative stereotypes exist about everyone, no matter their age, gender, race, religion, profession, etc. These stereotype blog posts will help you understand the negative stereotypes about you.

If you use negative stereotypes about people who are different from you, you are inviting everyone who hears you to use negative stereotypes about you.

 

Stereotype Updates

I add stereotypes as I come across them.

I will add the new stereotypes at the bottom of each listing, putting ~~~~~ between the older stereotypes and the new stereotypes.

More Stereotypes

Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: Ethnic, National, & Racial Identities

Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: Workplaces

Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: Romance

Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: Poverty

~~~~~~~~~~

Tired of losing out to stereotypes?
Learn strategies for taking positive control
in the small spaces of situations and relationships.
People who take positive control position themselves to attract unimagined success.

softskillstrategycourses.com

~~~~~~~~~~

Adults

College Students

clueless about their careers

Male College Students

childish
irresponsible
stupid

Sororities

superficial
ridiculous

Debutantes

snotty
stuck up

Young People Who Don’t Vote

lazy
apathetic
ignorant
disengaged

Middle-Aged People

lack motivation

Elderly People

incompetent
sad
lonely
ill-tempered
demanding
selfish
stubborn
nosy
slow moving
snobbish
prejudiced
hypochondriac
bored
miserly
incapable of making effective decisions
too old for business success
deserve to die

Unhealthy Old Age Is…

a punishment for living “wrong”

People With Superior Sounding Vocabularies 

idiots

Children

Adopted Children

screwed up
troubled
delinquent
burden to the family
yearn to find birth parents

Children From Single Parent Families

end up in trouble
low self-esteem
behavior problems

Child Nerds

friendless
book-smart sissies
suck up to authority figures

Infants

extensions of women

Only-Children

spoiled
maladjusted
selfish
lonely
prone to imaginary friends

Preteen Boys

mean
rowdy
aggressive

Preteen Girls

selfish
promiscuous
jealous

Teenagers

juvenile delinquents
brainless
bubble gum chewers
hormone laden slobs
wild
rude
irresponsible
tacky
video gaming loafers

Families

Birth Mothers

bitches
irresponsible
abandoned her own flesh and blood
sinners
whores
sluts
prostitutes
dopeheads
weak
poor
unhealthy
uneducated
AIDs carrier
slick manipulator

Birth Fathers

drop out of sight
weak
poor
unhealthy
uneducated
drug users
alcoholics
AIDs carriers
slick manipulators

Mothers Seen As Successful Career Women

bad moms

Mothers Seen As Dedicated To Their Children

washouts in their professions

Mothers Who Are Employed

have children who get fat

Single Fathers

deadbeats
clueless about cooking, housekeeping, laundry
can’t handle pressure
not nurturing
resentful
no good with infants or toddlers
emotionally inexpressive
ineffective at jobs
harm their children
ignorant

Single Mothers

promiscuous
immoral
leeches
not trustworthy
selfish
dangerous to married women
strippers
raise children who resent and hate them
have questionable income
gave up on marriage too easily
desperate for a man
milking the system

Single Parent Families

broken

Surrogate Mothers

baby sellers
gold diggers
hicks
opportunists
unemployed
deceitful

Women Without Children

selfish
superficial
poor decision makers

Generations

Baby Boomers

whiny
spoiled brats
not discerning about employment opportunities
destroyed the environment
enjoy living off the government

Gen Z

don’t want to work

Men

Muscular Men / Body Builders

thick-headed
villainous
thugs
dummies
homosexual (assuming homosexuality is bad)
cocky
conceited
constantly looking mirrors in self-admiration

Women

Muscular Women

lesbian (assuming lesbian is bad)
mentally ill
after other women’s men

Single Women Attending Parties Alone

lesbian (assuming lesbian is bad)
mentally ill
after other women’s men

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Appearance

Beautiful People

adulterous
vain
egotistical
greedy
status-seeking
arrogant
aloof
self-indulgent
rotten lovers
too impatient to work at relationships

Unattractive People

political radicals (which stereotypes political radicals negatively)
homosexual (which stereotypes homosexuals negatively)

Note: Most hair color stereotypes are about women.

Blondes

dumb
less trustworthy
can’t be taken seriously
vain
promiscuous

Brunettes

mousy
boring
less attractive
plain

Black Hair

untrustworthy
cold
ruthless

Afro Hairstyles

out of place
wearer can’t be taken seriously
not looking put together

Redheads

mean
wild
hot-tempered
brash
vampires
demons
witches
aggressive
promiscuous

~~~~~~~~~~

Plus Size People

smelly
dirty
lazy
failures
unable to control self
unable to maintain personal health
take up too much space

Plus Size Men

lazy
low self-esteem
lack will power
few friends
unattractive
sloppy
dirty
slow
unhealthy

Plus Size Women

few friends
lazy
slow
unhealthy
unattractive
low self-esteem
lack will power
must answer intrusive questions
gluttons
undisciplined
lack self-control

People Who Have Difficulty Losing Unwanted Pounds

not really trying

Short People

arrogant
defensive
perverts

Thin Men

few friends

Thin Women

vain
flirtatious
egotistical
have an eating disorder
~~~~~
full of themselves
cold
bitches

Behavior

Cross Dressing Men

sickos

Female Body Builders

unattractive
unfeminine
disgusting

Geeks (Nerds)

real pains
know-it-alls
uninteresting
social outcasts
~~~~~
socially awkward
male
unattractive

Helping Poor, Outcasts, & Marginalized People

leftist

Men Not Interested In Sports

wimp
gay (which stereotypes being gay as bad)

Nice Men / Sensitive Men

less competent
less hirable
lower performer
less likable
weaker
not assertive
not independent

Male Body Builders

flakes

Loners

creepy
pathetic

Newspaper Readers, Television News Audience, & Radio News Audience

unintelligent
uninformed
morons
uninterested in good news
uninterested in hard facts
want soft news, uninterested in world news
only interested in crime

People Who Recommend Kindness

needy
insecure

People Not Part Of Organized Religions, Conspicuous Consumption, Car Culture

weird
mentally ill

People Who Live Alone

antisocial
antifamily
need charity company

People Who Report Being Abducted By Aliens

masochists
inclined to fantasize
have a propensity to daydream
enthralled by novels

People Who Save Money

cheap
selfish

SUV Owners

selfish
stupid
dangerous
unpatriotic
unChristian
rollover waiting to happen

Television Audience To Advertisers

lying
cynical
mindless boobs

Terrorists

represent everyone in their ethnic group or religion
feel racism and hatred without reason

Truth Tellers

naive
suckers
fools

War Dissenters

unpatriotic
give aid and comfort to the enemy

Western Societies

decadent
materialist
exploitative

Women In Jane Austen’s Time

laughing is a sign of sexual availability
showing teeth is a sign of being garrulous, plebeian, vulgar

Events

Nonalcoholic Weddings

god awful

boring to death

soulless

worse than watching

paint dry

Health

Children Living With Mental illness

in a phase they will grow out of
should be able to control themselves

Crack Babies

hopeless
lost generation
permanently damaged

Adults Living With Mental Illness

willing it on themselves
all in one’s head
pretending
seeking attention

People Living With Allergies

selfish
whiny
deserve to be exposed to their allergens

People Living With Physical Disabilities

less than human
unhappy
need to be fixed
menacing
full of rage
hostile
immoral
choose to be disabled
fakers
liars
slobs
have a chip on the shoulder
obstinate for not doing what abled people assume they can do
~~~~~
not trying hard enough to live a normal life
choose to be poor
~~~~~
couldn’t possibly feel more pain than abled people feel

People Living With Epilepsy

drink
do drugs
vagrants
have a malady of the soul
witches
cause their own seizures
cursed by gods
possessed
associated with the devil
heretics

People With Tourette Syndrome

behavioral problem
possessed by the devil

Hobbies

Bowlers

big
fat
square
wear unflattering shirts

Life Situations

Homeless People

want to be homeless
single men
drunks
worthless
thieves

LGBTQ+ People

promiscuous
nonreligious
godless
mentally ill
determined to ‘convert’ others
lesbians are masculine
lesbians hate men
gay men are feminine and flamboyant
gay men are sexual predators or pedophiles
transgender women are drag queens

Little People

deaf
contagious
selfish

People Dependent An Others

immature
weak
shameful
uniquely feminine

Prison Inmates

liars about health problems

Unemployed People

lazy
freeloaders

Politics

Democratic Politicians

self-appointed elites

Democratic Voters

ignorant
bad Christians
bad Jews
bad Muslims
lazy
immoral
dishonest
unintelligent
closed-minded

Republican Voters

lazy
immoral
dishonest
unintelligent
closed-minded

People Who Want To Debate The Tactics Of The War On Terror

fringe of society

Pro-Life Advocates

hillbillies
ignorant extremists
greedy
misogynist
oppressors

Women Seeking Abortion

kissing cousin relationships
ignorant about sex
childless
irresponsible
thoughtless
feckless
unmarried
didn’t bother with birth control

Religion

Atheists

immoral
stupid
not citizens
not patriots

Hare Krishnas

greasy
scarred
Third World
weasel-looking aliens
skanks
creeps
rejects
deluded scammers

Jews

primitive-minded

Points To Ponder

Pay attention to shared stereotypes and opposite stereotypes. You can see who you share stereotypes with and when people see opposite negatives in you. Many stereotypes can be similar, but I highlight only shared exact word stereotypes here. The date for this analysis is February 22, 2024.

Examples of opposite stereotypes for the same group follow the shared stereotypes.

Shared Stereotypes

Shared Stereotypes #1

Plus Size Men
Plus Size Women
Thin Men

few friends

Shared Stereotypes #2

Elderly People
Little People
Only Children
People Living With Allergies
People Who Save Money
Preteen Girls
Single Mothers
SUV Owners
Women Without Children

selfish

Shared Stereotypes #3

Beautiful People
Thin Women

egotistical

Shared Stereotypes #4

Blondes
Preteen Girls
LGBTQ+ People
Redheads
Single Mothers

promiscuous

Shared Stereotypes #5

Democratic Voters
Plus Size Men
Plus Size People
Plus Size Women
Republican Voters
Unemployed People
People Living With Disabilities
Young People Who Don’t Vote

lazy

Shared Stereotypes #6

Atheists
Democratic Voters
People Living With Disabilities
Republican Voters
Single Mothers

immoral

Shared Stereotypes #7

Democratic Voters
Republican Voters

lazy
immoral
dishonest
closed-minded

Shared Stereotypes #8

Preteen Boys
Redheads

mean
aggressive

Shared Stereotypes #9

Democratic Voters
Newspaper Readers, Television News Audience, & Radio News Audience
Republican Voters

unintelligent

Shared Characteristic #10

Beautiful People
Short People

arrogant

Shared Stereotypes #11

Elderly People
Only Children

lonely

Opposite Stereotypes

Opposite Stereotypes #1

Thin Women

flirtatious cold

Opposite Stereotypes #2

People Living With Disabilities

need to be fixed fakers

Opposite Stereotypes #3

Birth Mothers

weak slick manipulator

Opposite Stereotypes #4

Muscular Women

lesbian
after other women’s men

~~~~~~~~~~

Because medical professionals misdiagnosed my childhood spinal injury for 33 years, I’ve lived with the stereotypes about people with disabilities. No one alive has any guarantee that they will never become disabled. How many elderly people confined to wheelchairs planned to be confined to wheelchairs at the end of their lives? None, of course.

You face the same stereotypes if you become disabled. Break stereotypes about disabled people to protect yourself in the future.

Strategies For Shattering Stereotypes

Choose a strategy based on the level of danger in the situation. Talk to the target in front of the harasser only if the situation is safe for conversation. If the situation is dangerous, create some kind of distraction. I now carry a personal alarm with me for creating distractions quickly.

Talking to the target instead of the harasser allows the harasser to just walk away. If harassing situations come up regularly in a workplace or other common location, you could also use these strategies at calm times to increase understanding about the consequences of using stereotypes. Just tell stories to your coworkers/colleagues as opportunities come up.

Adapt the strategies as you need to. Write about other successful strategies in the comments section.

Surprise The Harasser(s)

If you can possibly do so, give the harasser(s) a moment of dignity. People harassing others will not expect positive statements. The positive statements might be enough to stop them in that situation. One example:

“It’s obvious —– is having a bad day. Let’s give him/her/them time to
calm down and ease the strain on his/her/their heart(s). Let’s hope
tomorrow will be better.”

This statement tells the harasser(s) that they are under stress and deserve to feel better. By expressing concern for their health, you are letting them know you consider them valuable. They may not feel much value in their daily lives.

Visit the website below for resources on opening doors that give moments of dignity. Read People Success Example #5 on the People Success page. You’ll learn how I turned a bad relationship around using moments of dignity, and reaped an unexpected reward.

smilessparksuccess.com

Make Yourself An Example

This works best if you are not whatever is the reason for the harassment, not Muslim, not black, not Jewish, not Hispanic, not whatever. If you can identify any commonality between yourself and the target(s), talk about them to the target.

“Excuse me, but I noticed that we share a taste for … How would you
recommend cooking it?”

Your commonality will at least partially shatter the stereotype.

Provide Information About Stereotypes

If you can connect to the Internet, bring up the appropriate stereotype blog post and tell the target what the stereotypes are about you and why they are wrong. You could start with:

“Did you know there are stereotypes about everyone? The stereotypes
about me are …, but they don’t fit me because …”

You would be shattering a stereotype in front of the harasser.

Talk About The Consequences Of Creating Failure

Visit this Success & Failure Choices page to read about various types of success and failure. If you can think of an example from your own life, tell that story. Otherwise, use one from the blog below.

You could use this example from “Standout Success For 19 Year Old Joey Prusak”:

“A Dairy Queen customer saw manager Joey Prusak stand up for a
visually impaired customer. The bystander customer sent an email
to Dairy Queen. The story ended up on Facebook. The owner of Dairy
Queen, Warren Buffet, called Joey to thank him. Queen Latifah invited
Joey to appear on her show and gave him money for his college fund.
NASCAR driver Kevin Harvick invited Joey to a race. Good things can
happen to people who take care of other people.”

blog.smilessparksuccess.com

Talk About The Benefits Of Living The Golden Rule

Remind the harasser of the Golden Rule:

“Since the Golden Rule is important to me, I’m going to treat you
the way I want to be treated. I also know that being kind to others
is good for my health.”

My favorite version of the Golden Rule comes from Buddhism, “Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.” See these Golden Rule statements in 21 religions, 5 philosophies, and 2 moral/ethical systems to pick your favorite version.

Read up on the health benefits of kindness for details to talk about.

And again, write about other successful strategies in the comments.

~~~~~

Critical Thinking Questions

1.  What’s happening?

2.  Why is it important?

3.  What don’t I see?

4.  How do I know?

5.  Who is saying it?

6.  What else? What if?

Stereotype Thinking Questions

1.  What is threatening my beliefs?

2.  How can I make it unimportant?

3.  What can I reject?

4.  What can I laugh at?

5.  How can I attack people who threaten my beliefs?

6.  How can I deflect?

The stereotype thinking questions are mine, based on my observations of stereotype thinkers.

~~~~~

Paula M. Kramer
© 2015 to the present
All rights reserved.

Posts on this blog alternate with posts at the link below. Posts for both blogs are published on Wednesdays as they are ready to be published. Time between posts could be weeks or months.

blog.smilessparksuccess.com

Resource Websites

speakingfromtriumph.com

smilessparksuccess.com

Business Directory

betterplanetbusiness.com

Positive Identity Directory For People With Mugshots

myrecordnow.com

 

The Compliment Too Many Men Miss

People are raised to believe all kinds of stereotypes. For men, one of those stereotypes is that friendly women are interested in sex. In the May 25, 2013 Dear Abby column, one young woman wrote that she was “naturally friendly and sometimes guys I’m not interested in think I’m flirting with them.” I am also a friendly woman. I encounter this stereotype frequently.

I have been widowed for decades and single by choice since 1998. The last man I dated wanted to marry me. I said no because I do not want to be married again. If my husband were still alive, I hope we would still be married. But I have reached a stage in my life where I am happily single. I intend to remain happily single for the rest of my life.

However, I do enjoy having conversations with men. I start conversations with men in public. I also start conversations with repairmen who come to my house to work on my telephone, furnace, electricity, and plumbing. Some of the repairmen are interesting to talk to, so I look forward to new conversations when those repairmen come back to my house.

One of those repairmen keeps mentioning his wife, which means he has missed my compliment — that I enjoy our conversations.

When I was in my 20s, I worked in a small neighborhood store in Chicago. A man with a high paying job who lived across the street from the store would come in to talk to the owner. One day when the owner wasn’t there, the man came over and talked to me. We had such a good conversation that he invited me out to dinner. Our interesting conversation continued through dinner. I went home knowing that the man had paid me the compliment of considering me an interesting person to talk to. He was free for that evening and invited me out so he could enjoy further conversation. I never expected anything more.

Compliments can smooth the irritations of the day. Compliments can increase confidence. Compliments can show people the positive things others see in them.

My conversations with men are compliments. I wish more of the men would recognize the compliment, because I intend to keep the compliments coming.

Below are some resources that reveal men’s mistaken assumptions about friendly women. Ironically, a study of college students found that men can misread women’s sexual come-ons as friendly gestures. The Dear Abby advice seeker also wrote that, “…when I try to flirt with a guy, it never works.” See this happen for yourself. Watch Leonard mistake Alex’s sexual come on as friendliness, “The 43 Peculiarity” episode of The Big Bang Theory.

It seems that too many men are missing more than compliments.

Men can also misread sexual desire in other men. Below are three quotes from three articles about the television show Death In Paradise. The characters mentioned are Detective Inspector (DI) Humphrey Goodman and Detective Sergeant (DS) Florence Cassell.

“He (Goodman) was probably trying to impress DS Florence, who he’s clearly in love with (as he was with DS Camille) though he doesn’t even realise it himself.”
Sam Wollaston, reviewer

“I don’t think they’re like that together – I think they’re just mates. I think that it would be a little disingenuous and a little cheating to the show.”
Kris Marshall, the actor who plays DI Humphrey Goodman

“You’ll see their friendship and how Florence wants to help him find a new girlfriend,” reveals Josephine. “But it is just friendship and nothing else. Humphrey had a kind of love story with Camille, so it’d be too silly to have another love story with another French policewoman.”
Josephine Jobert, the actor who plays DS Florence Cassel

I watch this show. I read Wollaston’s review before I watched the episode where Wollaston saw Goodman “clearly” in love with Cassell. I saw no evidence of love. Wollaston is just one man out of many who make the same mistakes. Makes me wonder what Wollaston has missed.

“Actor Kris Marshall on Death In Paradise: We have some real cracking murders coming up”
John Marrs
Sunday Express
December 20, 2015

“Alcohol’s Role in Sexual Violence Perpetration: Theoretical Explanations, Existing Evidence, and Future Directions”
Antonia Abbey
Drug and Alcohol Review
September 2011, Volume 30, Issue 5, pages 481-489

“Clueless Guys Can’t Read Women”
Jeanne Bryner
Live Science
March 19, 2008

“Death in Paradise review: the TV equivalent of a boring holiday timeshare”
Sam Wollaston
The Guardian
February 27, 2015 02.00 EST

“Death in Paradise star Kris Marshall reveals all about series five of the BBC drama”
Frances Taylor
tv.bt.com
January 7, 2016

“Science Confirms The Obvious: Men Mistake Female Friendliness For Sexual Interest”
Laura Allen
Popular Science
April 4, 2009

“Nursing student needs primer on rules of the dating game”
Dear Abby
March 25, 2013
Page 5

~~~~~

Critical Thinking Questions

1.  What’s happening?

2.  Why is it important?

3.  What don’t I see?

4.  How do I know?

5.  Who is saying it?

6.  What else? What if?

Stereotype Thinking Questions

1.  What is threatening my beliefs?

2.  How can I make it unimportant?

3.  What can I reject?

4.  What can I laugh at?

5.  How can I attack people who threaten my beliefs?

6.  How can I deflect?

The stereotype thinking questions are mine, based on my observations of stereotype thinkers.

~~~~~

Paula M. Kramer
© 2015 to the present
All rights reserved.

Posts on this blog alternate with posts at the link below. Posts for both blogs are published on Wednesdays as they are ready to be published. Time between posts could be weeks or months.

blog.smilessparksuccess.com

Gossip Posters

Gossip Proverb

Good, Bad, & Ugly Gossip

Resource Websites

speakingfromtriumph.com

smilessparksuccess.com

Business Directory

betterplanetbusiness.com

Positive Identity Directory For People With Mugshots

myrecordnow.com

To Maintain Gender Stereotypes, Find A Study Of Monkeys & Stick With It!

In an opinion piece titled, “Boys play with trucks and girls play with dolls…so far”, Jim Wolff expressed concern about attempts to offer “boy” toys to girls and “girl” toys to boys. His concern showed up in these phrases:

“gender neutral”

“genderless society”

“politically-correct bulldada”

To justify his distress, Wolff wrote that “stereotyping is not created by society.”

Wolff cited three studies to prove that stereotypes are “naturally” created. His favorite study must have been the study of vervet monkeys because he mentioned it twice. In the study, boy monkeys chose “boy” toys and girl monkeys chose “girl” toys. In response to Sweden’s attempts to break down gender stereotypes Wolff wrote, “Apparently nobody in Sweden paid any attention to the study”, referring to the study of vervet monkeys.

Both of my grandsons did play with trucks. Both of my grandsons also asked to wear nail polish and went out in public with their painted nails. My youngest grandson marched in a parade with me. We wore vintage hats. He chose a hat with a red rose on top. People both admired his hat and applauded us as we walked by.

My granddaughter did briefly play with dolls. She later announced that she no longer wanted to wear pink clothes and was planning which tattoos she will get first when she is old enough. She’ll probably start with tattoos on her arms.

Were my grandchildren just not exposed to the right monkeys? Or is human behavior far more intricate than Wolff wants us to believe?

Wolff also stated we shouldn’t “bet the farm” on boys becoming “seamsters” because parents give them sewing machines. Wolff must consider it a crying shame that Jason Wu’s “cool parents” actually let him play with the toys he chose to play with — dolls! His favorites included a Bob Mackie Barbie, a Dior doll, and other Barbies! Jason even read fashion magazines! Then, his cool mother made the terrible mistake of buying Jason a sewing machine when he was only 9 years old! Jason’s parents even stood by and let Jason sew clothes for his dolls! How could Jason Wu possibly become successful with a sewing machine instead of a truck? It’s a tragedy that Jason Wu ended up designing two inaugural dresses for First Lady Michelle Obama. Now he’ll make the mistake of thinking he can be a successful seamster!

Stereotypes are like clay molds. Most of the clay has to be cut away to fit just the right amount into the mold. Most of what people feel and think and do has to be ignored to fit just the “right” feelings  and the “right” thoughts and the “right” actions into the stereotype mold. Jim Wolff cut out the evidence of what real children feel and think and do to push one study of monkeys as the guide for raising children the “natural” way.

“Boys play with trucks and girls play with dolls…for far”
Jim Wolff
The Berlin Journal
December 6, 2012, page 2
theberlinjournal.com

“Jason Wu: The American Dream”
Suzy Menkes
The New York Times
September 6, 2013

“Jason Wu Woos at Saks Chevy Chase”
Alexandra Geisler
Capitol File
August 29, 2013

~~~~~

Critical Thinking Questions

1.  What’s happening?

2.  Why is it important?

3.  What don’t I see?

4.  How do I know?

5.  Who is saying it?

6.  What else? What if?

Stereotype Thinking Questions

1.  What is threatening my beliefs?

2.  How can I make it unimportant?

3.  What can I reject?

4.  What can I laugh at?

5.  How can I attack people who threaten my beliefs?

6.  How can I deflect?

The stereotype thinking questions are mine, based on my observations of stereotype thinkers.

~~~~~

Online workshop that provides strategies to chip away stereotypes in both professional and personal relationships:

Gossip Power In The Workplace: Good, Bad, & Ugly

“After participating in the gossip power presentation, I know I now have a better plan to be more effective in understanding how gossip affects every area of a person’s personal and professional life. Using her strategies on gossip power and gossip ears I feel I will be better able to navigate these areas both inside and outside the office. Paula does a great job, using both scientific research and personal anecdotes and examples, to develop strategies for turning the power of gossip into positives for anyone attending her presentation. I left energized and excited about her message and what I learned and am definitely looking forward to learning more at her glass ceiling presentation.“
Mark Spiers
SBDC Consultant

~~~~~

Paula M. Kramer
© 2015 to the present
All rights reserved.

Posts on this blog alternate with posts at the link below. Posts for both blogs are published on Wednesdays as they are ready to be published. Time between posts could be weeks or months.

blog.smilessparksuccess.com

Gossip Posters

Gossip Proverb

Good, Bad, & Ugly Gossip

Resource Websites

speakingfromtriumph.com

smilessparksuccess.com

Business Directory

betterplanetbusiness.com

Positive Identity Directory For People With Mugshots

myrecordnow.com