Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: People In General

Apologies for the formatting.
WordPress is not letting me fix the spacing.
I’ll try to fix it every once in a while.

The research into gossip goes back at least to the middle of the 20th century. Both men and women research gossip. Putting all of their research together, gossip is talk and writing about people — both other people and ourselves — in family, social, workplace, and public settings.

Much of the research shows that gossip is both positive and negative. I define gossip as good, bad, or ugly. Good gossip ignores or breaks stereotypes while bad and ugly gossip are based on negative stereotypes.

Negative stereotypes exist about everyone, no matter their age, gender, race, religion, profession, etc. These stereotype blog posts will help you understand the negative stereotypes about you. Each post will focus on one or two or a few characteristics.

My collection of stereotypes comes from books, magazines, newspapers, movies, television shows, radio programs, news shows, conversations, etc.

Stereotypes and categories overlap at times. I create categories of stereotypes as I have stereotype examples to put into those categories.

Stereotype Updates

I add stereotypes as I come across them.

I will add the new stereotypes at the bottom of each listing, putting ~~~~~ between the older stereotypes and the new stereotypes.

~~~~~

Beautiful People

adulterous
vain
egotistical
greedy
status-seeking
arrogant
aloof
self-indulgent
rotten lovers
too impatient to work at relationships

Physically Unattractive People

political radicals (which stereotypes political radicals negatively)
homosexual (which stereotypes homosexuals negatively)

Geeks (Nerds)

real pains
know-it-alls
uninteresting
social outcasts

Blondes

dumb
less trustworthy
can’t be taken seriously

Brunettes

mousy
boring
less attractive

Redheads

mean
wild
hot-tempered
brash

Short People

arrogant
defensive
perverts

Heavy People

smelly
dirty
lazy
failures
unable to control self
unable to maintain personal health
take up too much space

Heavy Men

lazy
low self-esteem
lack will power
few friends
unattractive
sloppy
dirty
slow
unhealthy

Heavy Women

few friends
lazy
slow
unhealthy
unattractive
low self-esteem
lack will power
must answer intrusive questions
gluttons
undisciplined
lack self-control

Thin Men

few friends

Thin Women

vain
flirtatious
egotistical
have an eating disorder

Women In Jane Austen’s Time

laughing is a sign of sexual availability
showing teeth is a sign of being garrulous, plebeian, vulgar

Nice Men / Sensitive Men

less competent
less hirable
lower performer
less likable
weaker
not assertive
not independent

Men Not Interested In Sports

wimp
gay (which stereotypes being gay as bad)
Body builders
flakes
Cross Dressing Men
sickos

LGBTQ+ People

promiscuous
nonreligious
godless
lesbians are masculine
lesbians hate men
gay men are feminine and flamboyant
gay men are sexual predators or pedophiles
transgender women are drag queens
mentally ill
determined to ‘convert’ others

Infants

extensions of women

Crack Babies

hopeless
lost generation
permanently damaged

Children With Mental illness

 

in a phase they will grow out of
should be able to control themselves

Child Nerds
friendless
book-smart sissies
suck up to authority figures

Single Parent Families

broken

Single Mothers

promiscuous
immoral
leeches
not trustworthy
selfish
dangerous to married women
strippers
raise children who resent and hate them
have questionable income
gave up on marriage too easily
desperate for a man
milking the system

Single Fathers

deadbeat
clueless about cooking, housekeeping, laundry
can’t handle pressure
not nurturing
resentful
no good with infants or toddlers
emotionally inexpressive
ineffective at jobs
harming their children
ignorant

Women seeking abortion

kissing cousin relationships
ignorant about sex
childless

Children From Single Parent Families

end up in trouble
low self-esteem
behavior problems

Birth Mothers

bitch
irresponsible
abandoned her own flesh and blood
sinner
whore
slut
prostitute
dopehead
weak
poor
unhealthy
uneducated
AIDs carrier
slick manipulator

Birth Fathers

drops out of sight
weak
poor
unhealthy
uneducated
drug user
alcoholic
AIDs carrier
slick manipulator

Child Free Women
selfish
superficial
poor decision makers

Adopted Children

screwed up
troubled
delinquet
burden to the family
yearn to find birth parents

Teenagers

juvenile delinquents
brainless
bubble gum chewers
hormone laden slobs
wild
rude
irresponsible
tacky

Young People Who Don’t Vote
lazy
apathetic
ignorant
disengaged
Male College Students
childish
irresponsible
stupid
Sororities
superficial
ridiculous
Middle-Age People
lack motivation
Baby Boomers
whiny
spoiled brats

Elderly People

incompetent
sad
lonely
ill-tempered
demanding
selfish
stubborn
nosy
slow moving
snobbish
prejudiced
hypochondriac
bored
miserly
incapable of making effective decisions
too old for business success
deserve to die

An Unhealthy Old Age Is…

a punishment for living “wrong”

People Who Recommend Kindness

needy
insecure
People Living With Disabilities
less than human
unhappy
need to be fixed
menacing
full of rage
hostile
immoral
choose to be disabled
fakers
liars
lazy
slobs
have a chip on their shoulder
obstinate for not doing what abled people think they should be able to do
~~~~~
not trying hard enough to live a normal life
choose to be poor
~~~~~
couldn’t possibly feel more pain than normal people feel

Government Officials

tell lies
cover up the truth
engage in conspiracies to deprive citizens of their  liberty

People Not Part Of Organized Religions, Conspicuous Consumption, Car Culture

weird
mentally ill

People Who Report Being Abducted By Aliens

masochists
inclined to fantasize
have a propensity to daydream
enthralled by novels

Terrorists

represent everyone in their ethnic group or religion
feel racism and hatred without reason

Cheerleaders

gum-chewing ditzy snobs
airheads
gossipy
mean

Homeless People

want to be homeless
single men
drunks
worthless
thieves

Unemployed People

lazy
freeloaders

Truth Tellers

naive
suckers
fools

People Dependent An Others

immature
weak
shameful
uniquely feminine

Newspaper Readers, Television News Audience, & Radio News Audience

unintelligent
uninformed
morons
uninterested in good news
uninterested in hard facts
want soft news, uninterested in world news
only interested in crime

Television Audience To Advertisers

lying
cynical
mindless boobs

Prison Inmates

liars about health problems

People With Tourette Syndrome
behavioral problem
possessed by the devil
Hare Krishnas
greasy
scarred
Third World
weasel-looking aliens
skanks
creeps
rejects
deluded scammers
Jews
primitive-minded
Atheists
immoral
stupid
Western Societies
decadent
materialist
exploitative
People Living In Slums
criminals
drug addicts
delinquents
Pro-life advocates
hillbillies
ignorant extremist
People who want to debate the tactics of the war on terror
on the fringe of society
Democratic Voters
ignorant
bad Christians
bad Jews
bad Muslims

Points to Ponder

Pay attention to shared stereotypes, contrasting stereotypes, and opposite stereotypes. You can see who you share stereotypes with and when people see opposite negatives in you. Many stereotypes can be similar, but I highlight only shared exact word stereotypes here.

Shared Stereotypes #1

Heavy Men
Heavy Women
Thin Men

few friends

Contrasting Stereotypes

Thin Women

flirtatious

Shared Stereotypes #2

Child Free Women
Single Mothers

Elderly People

selfish

Shared Stereotypes #3

Beautiful People
Short People

arrogant

Shared Stereotypes #4

Beautiful People
Thin Women

egotistical

Shared Stereotypes #5

Heavy People
Heavy Men
Heavy Women
Unemployed People
People Living With Disabilities

lazy

Share Stereotype #6

Single Mothers
People Living With Disabilities
Atheists

immoral

Opposite Stereotypes

People Living With Disabilities

need to be fixed
fakers

Because medical professionals misdiagnosed my childhood spinal injury for 33 years, I’ve lived with the stereotypes about people with disabilities. No one alive has any guarantee that they will never become disabled. How many elderly people confined to wheelchairs planned to be confined to wheelchairs at the end of their lives? None, of course.

You face the same stereotypes if you become disabled. Break stereotypes about disabled people to protect yourself in the future.

 

Strategies For Shattering Stereotypes

Choose a strategy based on the level of danger in the situation. Talk to the target in front of the harasser only if the situation is safe for conversation. If the situation is dangerous, create some kind of distraction. I now carry a personal alarm with me for creating distractions quickly.

Talking to the target instead of the harasser allows the harasser to just walk away. If harassing situations come up regularly in a workplace or other common location, you could also use these strategies at calm times to increase understanding about the consequences of using stereotypes. Just tell stories to your coworkers/colleagues as opportunities come up.

Adapt the strategies as you need to. Write about other successful strategies in the comments section.

Surprise The Harasser(s)

If you can possibly do so, give the harasser(s) a moment of dignity. People harassing others will not expect positive statements. The positive statements might be enough to stop them in that situation. One example:

“It’s obvious —– is having a bad day. Let’s give him/her/them time to
calm down and ease the strain on his/her/their heart(s). Let’s hope
tomorrow will be better.”

This statement tells the harasser(s) that they are under stress and deserve to feel better. By expressing concern for their health, you are letting them know you consider them valuable. They may not feel much value in their daily lives.

Visit the website below for resources on opening doors that give moments of dignity. Read People Success Example #5 on the People Success page. You’ll learn how I turned a bad relationship around using moments of dignity, and reaped an unexpected reward.

smilessparksuccess.com

Make Yourself An Example

This works best if you are not whatever is the reason for the harassment, not Muslim, not black, not Jewish, not Hispanic, not whatever. If you can identify any commonality between yourself and the target(s), talk about them to the target.

“Excuse me, but I noticed that we share a taste for … How would you
recommend cooking it?”

Your commonality will at least partially shatter the stereotype.

Provide Information About Stereotypes

If you can connect to the Internet, bring up the appropriate stereotype blog post and tell the target what the stereotypes are about you and why they are wrong. You could start with:

“Did you know there are stereotypes about everyone? The stereotypes
about me are …, but they don’t fit me because …”

You would be shattering a stereotype in front of the harasser.

Talk About The Consequences Of Creating Failure

Visit this Success & Failure Choices page to read about various types of success and failure. If you can think of an example from your own life, tell that story. Otherwise, use one from the blog below.

You could use this example from “Standout Success For 19 Year Old Joey Prusak”:

“A Dairy Queen customer saw manager Joey Prusak stand up for a
visually impaired customer. The bystander customer sent an email
to Dairy Queen. The story ended up on Facebook. The owner of Dairy
Queen, Warren Buffet, called Joey to thank him. Queen Latifah invited
Joey to appear on her show and gave him money for his college fund.
NASCAR driver Kevin Harvick invited Joey to a race. Good things can
happen to people who take care of other people.”

blog.smilessparksuccess.com

Talk About The Benefits Of Living The Golden Rule

Remind the harasser of the Golden Rule:

“Since the Golden Rule is important to me, I’m going to treat you
the way I want to be treated. I also know that being kind to others
is good for my health.”

My favorite version of the Golden Rule comes from Buddhism, “Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.” See these Golden_Rule statements in 21 religions, 5 philosophies, and 2 moral/ethical systems to pick your favorite version.

Read up on the health benefits of kindness for details to talk about.

And again, write about other successful strategies in the comments.

~~~~~

Critical Thinking Questions

1.  What’s happening?

2.  Why is it important?

3.  What don’t I see?

4.  How do I know?

5.  Who is saying it?

6.  What else? What if?

Stereotype Thinking Questions

1.  What is threatening my beliefs?

2.  How can I make it unimportant?

3.  What can I reject?

4.  What can I laugh at?

5.  How can I attack people who threaten my beliefs?

6.  How can I deflect?

The stereotype thinking questions are mine, based on my observations of stereotype thinkers.

~~~~~

Online workshop that provides strategies to chip away stereotypes in both personal and professional relationships:

End Negative Gossip & Increase Collaboration

“After participating in the gossip power presentation, I know I now have a better plan to be more effective in understanding how gossip affects every area of a person’s personal and professional life. Using her strategies on gossip power and gossip ears I feel I will be better able to navigate these areas both inside and outside the office. Paula does a great job, using both scientific research and personal anecdotes and examples, to develop strategies for turning the power of gossip into positives for anyone attending her presentation. I left energized and excited about her message and what I learned and am definitely looking forward to learning more at her glass ceiling presentation.“
Mark Spiers
SBDC Consultant

Paula is a fabulous motivational speaker. Not only does she speak on positivity, but she conducts webinars on gossip and how to get out of the trap!! She is very knowledgeable, professional and inspirational! I love Paula’s talks and webinars! She mentors women to bring out their best and believe in themselves! Thank you for all that you! The world needs you right now!
Lauren Ebbecke

~~~~~

Paula M. Kramer
© 2015 to the present
All rights reserved.

Posts on this blog alternate with posts at the link below. Posts for both blogs are published on Wednesdays as they are ready to be published. Time between posts could be weeks or months.

blog.smilessparksuccess.com

Gossip Posters

Gossip Proverb

Good, Bad, & Ugly Gossip

Resource Websites

speakingfromtriumph.com

smilessparksuccess.com

Business Directory

betterplanetbusiness.com

Positive Identity Directory For People With Mugshots

myrecordnow.com

 

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