Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: Romance

See the first post in this series for an introduction to the negative stereotypes behind bad and ugly gossip.

If you use negative stereotypes about people who are different from you, you are inviting everyone who hears you to use negative stereotypes about you. Below are some of the negative stereotypes other people could use about you in romantic relationships.

Stereotype Updates

I add stereotypes as I come across them.

New stereotype examples in each category are underlined.

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Women in romantic relationships

should give up jobs when children are born

should not accept a job offer that could jeopardize partner’s caree

Romantic relationships are likely to end if

the woman has a high status career and stays in her career

If a woman succeeds while her partner fails it means the woman

caused her partner’s failure

could destroy the relationship

If a woman fails while her partner succeeds it means

her partner had the ability to succeed, but she didn’t

The most successful relationship is between

a man with a high level career and a woman with a low level career

Women wearing revealing clothing are

seen by men as seductive

seen by women as not nice

Women who go to a bar, have a nightcap in an apartment, dress up

interested in sex

Women who drink alcohol

sexually available

more aggressive

have few social skills

Obese people

less attractive

lower self-esteem

less likely to be dating

less erotic

deserves fat, ugly partner

Friendly women

want sex

Men who dress revealingly

less liked

not sexy

Muscular men




abusive in relationships with overweight or underweight people

In abusive relationships

men do all the abusing

Women battered by men




Men battered by women are



Women in violent domestic relationships


Men in violent domestic relationships


Analyzing women’s roles in violent relationships


Analyzing men’s roles in violent relationships

giving men an excuse

Taking into account individual pathologies, marital dynamics,
and personal circumstances, and any abuse men suffer

would only give men an excuse to get away with abuse

If a woman acts out abusive behavior toward her partner




Obese people

less attractive

lower self-esteem

less likely to be dating

less erotic

deserves fat, ugly partner

Points to Ponder

First, the list above provides an example of hedge-your-bets stereotyping. Hedging your bets with stereotypes means using opposite stereotypes about the same group or individual. The opposite stereotypes in this list are about women abused by men. These women are all of the below:





People who use hedge-your-bets stereotyping are truth definers. They define truth according to what they believe. Maintaining their definition of truth means using stereotypes according to situations. Opposite situations require opposite stereotypes. However, some truth definers will use opposite stereotypes within the same conversation or paragraph.

Second, these stereotypes make abusive men inherently bad, even when situational factors make their abuse more likely. Domestic violence will not end as long as anyone uses these stereotypes about romantic relationships.

Third, the stereotypes ignore the women who abuse men in romantic relationships. My mother was one of those abusers. She emotionally abused my father.


Critical Thinking Questions

1.  What’s happening?

2.  Why is it important?

3.  What don’t I see?

4.  How do I know?

5.  Who is saying it?

6.  What else? What if?

Stereotype Thinking Questions

1.  What is threatening my beliefs?

2.  How can I make it unimportant?

3.  What can I reject?

4.  What can I laugh at?

5.  How can I attack people who threaten my beliefs?

6.  How can I deflect?

The stereotype thinking questions are mine, based on my observations of stereotype thinkers.


Online workshop that provides strategies to chip away stereotypes in both professional and personal relationships:

Simple & Effective Strategies For Ending Negative Workplace Gossip

“After participating in the gossip power presentation, I know I now have a better plan to be more effective in understanding how gossip affects every area of a person’s personal and professional life. Using her strategies on gossip power and gossip ears I feel I will be better able to navigate these areas both inside and outside the office. Paula does a great job, using both scientific research and personal anecdotes and examples, to develop strategies for turning the power of gossip into positives for anyone attending her presentation. I left energized and excited about her message and what I learned and am definitely looking forward to learning more at her glass ceiling presentation.“
Mark Spiers
SBDC Consultant

Paula is a fabulous motivational speaker. Not only does she speak on positivity, but she conducts webinars on gossip and how to get out of the trap!! She is very knowledgeable, professional and inspirational! I love Paula’s talks and webinars! She mentors women to bring out their best and believe in themselves! Thank you for all that you! The world needs you right now!
Lauren Ebbecke


Paula M. Kramer
© 2015 to the present
All rights reserved.

Posts on this blog alternate with posts at the link below. Posts for both blogs are published on Wednesdays as they are ready to be published. Time between posts could be weeks or months.

Gossip Posters

Gossip Proverb

Good, Bad, & Ugly Gossip

Resource Websites

Business Directory

Positive Identity Directory For People With Mugshots


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