My collection of stereotypes comes from books, magazines, newspapers, movies, television shows, radio programs, news shows, conversations, etc. Sources can be 10s to 100s to 1000s of years old.
Stereotypes and categories overlap at times. I create categories of stereotypes as I have stereotype examples to put into those categories.
The research into gossip goes back at least to the middle of the 20th century. Both men and women research gossip. Putting all of their research together, this is my definition:
Gossip is talk and writing about people
— both other people and ourselves —
in family, social, workplace, and public settings.
Much of the research shows that gossip is both positive and negative. I define gossip as good, bad, or ugly. Good gossip ignores or breaks stereotypes. Bad gossip uses stereotypes. Ugly gossip manufactures stereotypes.
Negative stereotypes exist about everyone, no matter their age, gender, race, religion, profession, etc. These stereotype blog posts will help you understand the negative stereotypes about you.
If you use negative stereotypes about people who are different from you, you are inviting everyone who hears you to use negative stereotypes about you.
Stereotype Updates
I add stereotypes as I come across them.
I will add the new stereotypes at the bottom of each listing, putting ~~~~~ between the older stereotypes and the new stereotypes.
More Stereotypes
Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: People In General
Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: Ethnic, National, & Racial Identities
Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: Workplaces
Negative Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: Poverty
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Romantic Relationships In General
Relationships Between Men & Women
war
The Most Successful Relationship Is Between
a man with a high level career and a woman with a low level career
Romantic Relationships Are Likely To End If
the woman has a high status career and stays in her career
Older Women With Younger Men
trying to hang onto youth
Younger Women With Older Men
golddiggers
If A Woman Fails While Her Partner Succeeds It Means…
the man had the ability to succeed
the woman didn’t have the ability to succeed
If A Woman Succeeds While Her Partner Fails It Means The Woman…
caused her partner’’s failure
could destroy the relationship
Women In Romantic Relationships
should give up jobs when children are born
should not accept a job offer that could jeopardize partner’s career
Abusive Relationships
Violence Happens Only In
heterosexual relationships
men do all the abusing
Women Battered By Men
masochists
castrators
flirts
blameless
Men Battered By Women
liars
freaks
Men Who Batter Women
hotheaded
drunk brutes
Woman Who Batter Men
drunk
unstable
shrewish
Individual Characteristics
Obese People
less attractive
lower self-esteem
less likely to be dating
less erotic
deserve fat, ugly partners
Interracial Relationships
Black Women Dating & Marrying White Men
looking for money
looking for status
looking for something they don’t have
White Men Marrying Black Women
living a fetish
stealing Black women from their community
Men
All Men
Unfinished without a woman’s touch
Single Men
unhappy
interested in whether a prospective date has not girlfriends
looks at his watch because he’s bored
love women who dress like sluts
easy horn dogs
like skinny girls
like younger women
like big breasts, real or fake
like open relationships
commitment-phobes
don’t like aggressive women
always want to be dominant
want dumb women
Men Over 70
projects
Men Who Dress Revealingly
less liked
not sexy
Muscular Men
domineering
controlling
mean
abusive in relationships with overweight or underweight people
Messy Magician, Life Coach, “Crypto Guy” on The Bachelorette
shallow dates
Women
Single Women
unhappy
selfish
insecure
lonely
dysfunctional
desperate to find a mate
clueless about finances and investing
let their appearance go as they age
sex-starved
less healthy than married women
Women Who Dress Revealingly
seen by men as seductive
seen by women as not nice
Women Who Go To A Bar, Have A Nightcap In An Apartment, Dress Up
interested in sex
Women Who Drink Alcohol
sexually available
more aggressive
have few social skills
Opposite Stereotypes
Opposite Stereotypes #1
Women Battered By Men
masochists ≠ castrators
Points To Ponder
These stereotypes make abusive men inherently bad, ignoring “substance abuse, mental illness, childhood trauma, race, culture, and poverty.”
The stereotypes ignore the women who abuse men in romantic relationships. My mother was one of those abusers. She emotionally abused my father.
“Help for Men Who are Being Abused”
Lawrence Robinson and Jeanne Segal, PhD
HelpGuide
Last updated: January 2021.
“The Stereotyped Offender: Domestic Violence and the Failure of Intervention”
Carolyn B. Ramsay
Penn State Law Review
2015
“We Run a Hotline for Male Victims and Perpetrators of Domestic Violence”
Avi Mor and Malka Genachowski
Newsweek: My Turn
April 28, 2021
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Critical Thinking Questions
1. What’s happening?
2. Why is it important?
3. What don’t I see?
4. How do I know?
5. Who is saying it?
6. What else? What if?
Stereotype Thinking Questions
1. What is threatening my beliefs?
2. How can I make it unimportant?
3. What can I reject?
4. What can I laugh at?
5. How can I attack people who threaten my beliefs?
6. How can I deflect?
The stereotype thinking questions are mine, based on my observations of stereotype thinkers.
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Because medical professionals misdiagnosed my childhood spinal injury for 33 years, I’ve lived with the stereotypes about people with disabilities. No one alive has any guarantee that they will never become disabled. How many elderly people confined to wheelchairs planned to be confined to wheelchairs at the end of their lives? None, of course.
You face the same stereotypes if you become disabled. Break stereotypes about disabled people to protect yourself in the future.
Strategies For Shattering Stereotypes
Choose a strategy based on the level of danger in the situation. Talk to the target in front of the harasser only if the situation is safe for conversation. If the situation is dangerous, create some kind of distraction. I now carry a personal alarm with me for creating distractions quickly.
Talking to the target instead of the harasser allows the harasser to just walk away. If harassing situations come up regularly in a workplace or other common location, you could also use these strategies at calm times to increase understanding about the consequences of using stereotypes. Just tell stories to your coworkers/colleagues as opportunities come up.
Adapt the strategies as you need to. Write about other successful strategies in the comments section.
Surprise The Harasser(s)
If you can possibly do so, give the harasser(s) a moment of dignity. People harassing others will not expect positive statements. The positive statements might be enough to stop them in that situation. One example:
“It’s obvious —– is having a bad day. Let’s give him/her/them time to
calm down and ease the strain on his/her/their heart(s). Let’s hope
tomorrow will be better.”
This statement tells the harasser(s) that they are under stress and deserve to feel better. By expressing concern for their health, you are letting them know you consider them valuable. They may not feel much value in their daily lives.
Visit the website below for resources on opening doors that give moments of dignity. Read People Success Example #5 on the People Success page. You’ll learn how I turned a bad relationship around using moments of dignity, and reaped an unexpected reward.
Make Yourself An Example
This works best if you are not whatever is the reason for the harassment, not Muslim, not black, not Jewish, not Hispanic, not whatever. If you can identify any commonality between yourself and the target(s), talk about them to the target.
“Excuse me, but I noticed that we share a taste for … How would you
recommend cooking it?”
Your commonality will at least partially shatter the stereotype.
Provide Information About Stereotypes
If you can connect to the Internet, bring up the appropriate stereotype blog post and tell the target what the stereotypes are about you and why they are wrong. You could start with:
“Did you know there are stereotypes about everyone? The stereotypes
about me are …, but they don’t fit me because …”
You would be shattering a stereotype in front of the harasser.
Talk About The Consequences Of Creating Failure
Visit this Success & Failure Choices page to read about various types of success and failure. If you can think of an example from your own life, tell that story. Otherwise, use one from the blog below.
You could use this example from “Standout Success For 19 Year Old Joey Prusak”:
“A Dairy Queen customer saw manager Joey Prusak stand up for a
visually impaired customer. The bystander customer sent an email
to Dairy Queen. The story ended up on Facebook. The owner of Dairy
Queen, Warren Buffet, called Joey to thank him. Queen Latifah invited
Joey to appear on her show and gave him money for his college fund.
NASCAR driver Kevin Harvick invited Joey to a race. Good things can
happen to people who take care of other people.”
Talk About The Benefits Of Living The Golden Rule
Remind the harasser of the Golden Rule:
“Since the Golden Rule is important to me, I’m going to treat you
the way I want to be treated. I also know that being kind to others
is good for my health.”
My favorite version of the Golden Rule comes from Buddhism, “Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.” See these Golden Rule statements in 21 religions, 5 philosophies, and 2 moral/ethical systems to pick your favorite version.
Read up on the health benefits of kindness for details to talk about.
And again, write about other successful strategies in the comments.
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Critical Thinking Questions
1. What’s happening?
2. Why is it important?
3. What don’t I see?
4. How do I know?
5. Who is saying it?
6. What else? What if?
Stereotype Thinking Questions
1. What is threatening my beliefs?
2. How can I make it unimportant?
3. What can I reject?
4. What can I laugh at?
5. How can I attack people who threaten my beliefs?
6. How can I deflect?
The stereotype thinking questions are mine, based on my observations of stereotype thinkers.
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Paula M. Kramer
© 2015 to the present
All rights reserved.
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